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yesterday I died



Yesterday they killed me
They'd tortured me for years
misused, abused, abandoned
nobody saw my tears

Taking turns, stabbing my way:
who could hit the hardest
But I forgave them all
as I filled of tiredness

They watched me bleed
Laughed wildly at my pain
Tortured every inch
and still I forgave

But yesterday I died
I'd finally taken it all
My heart had finally quit
as everyone watched me fall

I was left... quietly, alone
defeated by my world
As a shadow hovered upon me
watching me laid curled

It reached out a hand
as suddenly, I felt warm
And showed me I am worth it
hense, for I had been reborn

So here I am today
Struggling but well
Licking all my wounds
forgetting all the hell

It's time to start all over
and thank that loving shadow
For giving me a hand
to wander through life's meadow

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    April 4, 2007
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    Thanks for your entry. Quite a powerful piece that can be read both literally and figuratively. I like the concept of forgiveness in the piece since that is, after all, where the freedom lies. Gave me reason to think and consider even after the reading was done. That is always a nice effect in a poem.

    Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.


  • Sharcu silver member
    April 3, 2007
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    I like how you start off with the image of being tortured and end with the peaceful thoughts of a meadow and a helping hand. I thought it flowed well together and the message was very powerful. Nice rhyming and it definitely added to what I thought of the poem overall. Thanks for your entry and I hope you are enjoying your time on this site
    --Tim


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    March 27, 2007

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    Thanks for entering

    The kindness of a stranger is very powerful. You are fortunate to have this blessing cross your path in your moment of need.

    The poem is written with a fluid flow and I truly enjoyed it.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • wishintreeUK
    March 27, 2007

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    Thank you for entering.

    A sad thread running through the poem, yet it has a positive ending... showing you have taken the offered helping hand and are able to look forward in a positive way.

    Thank you for entering the contest

    ~Katie~


  • FifthDove
    March 27, 2007

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    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    I hope I can be fortunate enough to have a loving shadow help me in such a way. I felt this write to be a bit mystical and very fascinating. Nice work Thank you very much for the entry, best wishes and welcome to the siteDove


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 26, 2007

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    Welcome to All Poetry!

    A very sad, dark poem at the start, but you turned it waound so vivdly to show how you were saved. I hope life gets better every day for you.
    Thank you for you great poem in our contest.
    Gaylene


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    March 25, 2007

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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    And thanks for your entry in the New Members contest. I like the way the poem turns around in the end. It definately starts out dark and indicative of the many trials a lot of people have to go through to get to a point of rebirth. It is a real "survivor's" story.

    Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.


  • Decadence
    March 25, 2007
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    Hi! I really liked this poem. I love the parts; "My heart had finally quit, as everyone watched me fall", and "And showed me I am worth it, for I had been reborn." I think the beginning is slightly better than the end, but that might just be me. Good luck in the contest by the way.


  • cherche -d -ame
    March 25, 2007
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    this started off so tortured and sad, and I really liked that it ended in a hopeful tone [re-birth or self affirmation]of finally having had enough and knowing of one's own strength and the will to go on in spite of past adversity. Well done and best wishes in this contest,
    reenie

1 - 14 of 14