Lonely soul
floating through life.
My eyes met yours
and
passionate forces pulled me to you
immediately
unable to resist magnetic pull
as I am
hopelessly
helplessly
sucked into your realm.
Wishing for ecstasy
as I feel the heat
from your torrid flame.
Silly little moth
floating straight
to her doom.
Oblivious to reality.
Emotional stability
on the verge of
burning
scorching
wasting away
going up in smoke.
Dreaming of heavenly bliss
while fluttering toward
the eternally burning
flames of Hades.
Visions of grandeur
up in smoke
as wings of hope
turn to ashes
lightly blown away
in the breeze.
In a list
A contest entry
- Give A Metaphor More Potency!!! by Quality Contests.
425 points, ended April 15, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Passing through once more before the results. Thank you for entering and making this contest a success.
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You've definently achieved what this contest asked for. Thanks for entering!
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ah, havent we all been here, moth to the flame of a current desire, or self-deluded past...good luck in the contest.
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Fire was her home element.
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i loved the beginning and like the middle and ending.
Lonely soul
floating through life.
My eyes met yours
and
passionate forces pulled me to you
immediately
unable to resist magnetic pull
as I am
hopelessly
helplessly
sucked into your realm.
Wishing for ecstasy
as I feel the heat
from your torrid flame.
after that part, the tone changed up...different 'tenses - maybe. i dont know.
still, all in all, good job with writing this. enjoyed. good luck in the contest.
blu
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very deep but goo
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If you can make the form change from first person to the third more visual. Overal a nice poem. Good flow and neatly formatted.
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Despair, hopelessness. It takes a very strong mind to turn away from that flame. This is an old motif but you breathed new life into it.
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Well written
Like the poem alot. Good luck in the contest.
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