In the contest of the gods
Mortals are oft ensnared
And in many a godly battle
Hath ill or goodly fared
Such is the fate of Paris of Troy
Entangled in golden Apollo's ploy
Making bow who would not kneel
With a fleet shaft to a fragile heel
The Archer stands tall
And at last all is set
All wait with bated breath
To see what the fates beget
The arrow flies straight and true
Peircing the Brave Achilles through
Guided by Apollo for mighty Troy
Bringing its caster triumphant Joy
A brother is avenged
A legend falls to dust
Felled by a single arrow
For dishonour done Apollo's bust
Then the greeks despair
Most ill in gods' favor they fair
Loosing the greatest of them all
To the fleet arrow's rise and fall
By Apollo's will such is done
Men the marionettes of the gods
Battles lost and battles won
As the pantheon applauds
Paris' arrow swift guided
By Apollo's will and appeal
Serving as the penalty for refusing to kneel
By Eating deep into Achilles' heel
By Analexii (Cassidy R. Scaglione)
Author notes
Analexii
Sorry it took so long to get this in here. I was suffering from a little bit of writers block, or rather, writers block by way of distraction with another story entirely *cough* Anyways, your Greek God, I considered more origional figures, Selene and such, but in the end went with Apollo... hopefully you enjoy!
(note: if you liked this, you'll probably enjoy its companion poem, Hector of Troy: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2666710 )
A contest entry
- Sirens, Elves, Gods, and Legends (round three) by Luthien Luinwe.
500 points, ended April 16, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest! (Show me your stuff) by BloodCrusted.
600 points, ended April 18, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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3 claps...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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A devine write and very interesting to read, you have done well to create such a dramatic piece...very engaging and I just loved it, thank you
~LIlac~
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Nicely done.
I love this myth.
Greek mythology is very intriguing, and you recreated the tale quite nicely.
Thank you for the entry!
-System of Cyanide
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Fantastic Job!!
You brought back memories of my college days. love the flow of this piece.So easy, not forced...three applauds.
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Liked the story you retell in your own way in these lines - not one we see often on this site - maybe more on the OldPoetry section. Interesting color combination - and rhythm and rhyme as well.
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Thanks so much for the comments! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem! Yes... i have noticed an absence of these sorts of poems on AP, it is a sad shortcoming that i'm doing my very best to correct! I myself have been quite intrigued with Troy and the events surrounding it since about the fifth grade, when i first read of them... Ulysses was always one of my favs, but unfortunatly didn't really make it into this poem (theres always next time) Anyways, thanks again for the read, it is much appreciated!
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Very nice. Great flow and rhythm! You did a good job in recalling such a famous scene. Filling us in on the war but not too much to bore us. I know this legend very well, one of my favorites, and in describing it you made it interesting. Wonderful write!
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Great! Thanks for the read, i'm glad you enjoyed it! As to the length, your extrodinarily lucky you got off as lightly as you did, i've a tendancy to be somewhat of an epic poem person, and its rare i'm able to keep it to such a length as you've seen here....
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Very well done! Great flow & tone & rhyme and rhythm.
great Piece!
Peace
Debbers
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This is really cool. I lovbed it. I lobve greek mythology in general. I was in the first round. Good luck to you.
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I'm almost speechless! This is a wonderful piece! Expressive and impressive. Flow was nothing short of flawless and superb rhythm and rhyme. Excellent!
~Lori
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And the moral of the story is: don't mess with Apollo's temple (or kidnap the daughter of his priest) This is a great write all around with fluid flow, accurate mythology, and stunning narrative. I'm afraid you're going to send my paltry entry in that contest reeling. Good luck! I think you may be seeing something shiny soon.
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i'm glad you enjoyed it! don't belittle your own work though Ontarah! your an excellent poet, and remember, poetry is an objective art form, what some like others won't, and who knows what light the Judge will veiw our individual styles in!
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Thanks
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I watched the movie a couple of wks ago. Your post has equalled the story very well, a story that would be hard to equal today even for the best of storytellers. you did it justice.
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I don't know much about this one I've heard of trojan war before, a good flow of words, best of luck in this contest and welcome to the group hope to see more of your writes...
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Very good write and excellent story. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Good descriptives. Very good word choice. Good alliteration and assonance. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
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EXOTIC
Hmm good wirte. I felt like i was watching the movie 'Troy' All over again. Enjoyed it much. Thanks for sharing. I think u r a great writer.
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this is a great description of the events in the trojan war. it was interesting how you inferred apollo's guidance into the whole paris shooting achilles thing. very nice!
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actually, Apollo is commonly attributed in myth for guiding Paris' arrow, as well as for several other actions against the greeks during the Trojan war: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo#Apollo_during_the_Trojan_War
I thought it was interesting, and since the contest i wrote this for is about the gods, well, i chose him over some of the other deities i was thinking of doing, and chose to focus the poem on troy because... well because i already wrote one about Hector and i figured it would be a good companion poem...
Thanks for the comment by the way!
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wow this poem is great i love the description of apollo. i like the last 2 lines his mother should have dipped achilles ankles first lol. anyway great poem.
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Many thanks for the comment! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem!
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