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My Dream About My Girl

My dream, almost like a nightmare,
but i have no part left of my heart to care.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I see her lying on the steps.
I look for the warm feeling I used to get from her beautiful eyes,
but there's nothing left.
I should be screaming out, but I'm not even sobbing in cries.
There's blood dripping from her fingers,
as the scent of murder still lingers.
A bloody footprint,
next to her body where it lays so limp.
I close her eyes with my trembling hand,
I pick her up and hold her as close as I can.
Her blood covers my shirt,
my heart feels no pain, loss, or hurt.
She's been shot, stabbed and beaten, dead none the less.
Here's where it gets twisted, see, i couldn't careless.
She was dead to me before,
somone got to her, killed her, and walk out and even shut the door.
I hold her tight,
as light turns to night.
I've been sitting here for what seems like more than a year,
but I have yet to shed a tear.
Her body turns cold,
she's no longer the one i wish to hold.
I take her body to her bed,
while keeping a steady hand underneath her head.
I cross her hands over her chest, holding that rose,
I call 911, so now everyone knows.
I mop up the blood,
as I listen to the rain, it's bound to flood.
The flash of a siren light,
breaks the still night.
It makes a pattern on the floor,
I take my leave before rescue enters the door.
I walk to my house in silence because there's nothing to say,
What more could i do? you were bound to die anyway.

Author notes

It's a dream about the one I loved... it was more of a nightmare

A contest entry

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Comments


  • AceOSpades
    April 20, 2007

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    Hmm the rhyme is a little dodgy near the beginning, but you seemed to decide what you were doing shortly after that... The rhythm reaaally needs work in some places, try fixing up your line lengths if you can't quite get the hang of each exact beat. For example :

    She was dead to me before,
    somone got to her, killed her, and walk out and even shut the door.

    Here you have a short line followed by a REALLY long one, your longest in the poem actually. I know it's tough to stick to a format, but you should try to either beef up the line before or slice down the line after. The content is fine, I rather like the dream inspiration as well. Good luck


  • jessabelina
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing poem! I really loved it, and the best part was that u can actually understand it...Unlike most poems. Well at least I dont understand them I think this is the best poem I've seen so far on this site. I really, truly loved!!! Great job!!!


  • Baka Demon
    March 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Amazing. It was deep and I gotta admit, a little Emo-ish, but hey. I love Emo poems. >>;;

    The last line is true. Unless you're immortal.

    And good job. It made me move. *tear*

    Continue on your great work. ^^