We meet yet again, my officer friend
You've stopped right now for the rules that I bend
Yes, I know the drill, so I'll drop my cigar
Before you tell me to get out of my car
I bet you think I've committed a crime,
But I swear that I'm not HALF as drunk as last time!
All of that beer in the car isn't mine,
And at least I can walk in an almost-straight line...
Please do not judge me before I have spoken,
Just check for yourself, my seatbelt is broken!
Yes, I will replace my brake
And no, my license isn't fake
The picture is just really old, okay?
I had a pink afro back in the day
All of the speeding, I swear I will quit
I'm sorry about that goose that I hit
Don't you have other speeders to chase?
Oh, and just so you know, I lost that drag-race
My speech may be slurred, but I am not drunk
And I don't know who put all those drugs in my trunk
Keeping me stopped here may seem exiting,
But look all around, there is crime that needs fighting!
Those bad guys need someone to keep them at bay,
So have a few doughnuts and be on your way
Author notes
March 23, 2007... I came upon a contest on this site requiring writers to talk a cop out of giving you a ticket in rhyme... And I looked at all my other poems and realized I had NEVER written anything funny! It's all emo and depressing... So I decided to have some fun for once...
: )
Option 1: Anything funny.
A contest entry
- MAKE ME LAUGH by Piccola.
450 points, ended April 9, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me laugh by kim5519.
600 points, ended April 27, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Something To Laugh About! by Midnight-x-Rose.
300 points, ended April 10, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - keep me Reading by boy-poet.
450 points, ended April 16, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Funny Poems Enter Here Plus another option ( pre-writes alowed by The Void.
330 points, ended April 12, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Edna's Very Fast Funny Contest - Enter Now by Edna Sweetlove.
390 points, ended June 4, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poem(s) You Have Ever Wrote by NickelleteXninja.
550 points, ended June 15, 2007, 161 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best original joke by Riddle Me.
475 points, ended August 2, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - options, options, options by hungermuncher.
400 points, ended June 22, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So You Think You Can Make Me Laugh? by JeannieD Hunter.
950 points, ended June 11, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me some of your funny poems! please! by Midoriko.
325 points, ended June 28, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Under Four Lines and Funny - A couple of Options. Prewrites by Anastasiya.
477 points, ended July 23, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me laugh...or die trying by vampireblood.
400 points, ended July 15, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give Me All Your Gold~ by Midnight-x-Rose.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 15, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY MONTH! by whoopie.x.
300 points, ended April 21, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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An amusing tale that not too many of us would hope to live out. Thank you for your entry in our contest.
Please join us in future ones.
Sue and Jeff -
Funny and a good laugh!Thank you and good luck
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this poem is a wonderful poem and has great fellings and understanding,
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lol!
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Haha! Love this.
Great job!! And awesome rhymes!!
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haha, this was amazing! I love reading funny poems about the police. This was truly funny, I liked the flow and rythm of your poem as well. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
Reread the rules. I have to DQ if your poem is over 4 lines.
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Oh this is great! After I read it, I had to go get my boyfriend and read it to him because its so funny.
i love it!
Keep writing funny stuff!! -
haha. this really made me laugh... at first, I thought WTF?! then, in about the second stanza I really started laughing. thanks for entering my contest! good luck! and congrats on ur wins already!
Crimson -
Classic
Totally without doubt funny as can be.... I've been in law enforcement for 6 years... I definately find this to be funny... I laugh out loud several times! GOLD yes its deserving. Good luck in this contest! -
LOL I reckon you would have talked him INTO a ticket!! This is funny. Good job. Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Jeannie -
i wasnt meaning to allow prewrites but seem as i accidently did yours can be the only one lol gd write i liked it best of luck in my contest j
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Excellent
Thanks very much for entering this. You have done a great job.
HUGS -
I think this is priceless; I love a good humored poem and this is really good
Thank you for the smiles -
haha
I always write dark, depressing, and love i wish i could be funny
this was well done but as i see from your authors note that you have entered what 5 times now/ i added one to the pre-finalists so I dont want to add to many mor eof yours but this is good so i will
see you thought i was going to be mean'
thanks for entering.....again -
I was unamused.
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this was really cute,you did not put the option you chose in you authors box, but since the option you chose is the main option I will not DQ you.
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Sorry dawg, I forgot about that!... The option is now in the author notes.
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lmao good stuff i like this one alot
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Oh the humour of it all! Love the last bit... lovely typical doughnut eating cop image in my head. Love all the 'crimes' you haven't committed as well they are great! Gave me a nice smile on my face.
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I'm seriously laughing right now. If that were me in that position I'd be scared to death. But when you right about it it's halerious. Thanks for the entry.
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"I have alcohaul on my breath? well, you have powdered sugar on your shirt" .... lol. This entry had me smiling but not really laughing. Although it is really cute. Thanks for the entry and good luck.
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This was well written, and I liked the way you knew what was going on despite the rhyme, if you see what I mean? Being able to rhyme as well is doubly clever! Keep writing, Meggh xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Ha ha. Thank you for entering my contest. I like this. Good luck.
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lol
blue light special, lol thank you for entering.. good luck! -
It would not work on me.
This is good but it would not work on me. I would still be writing ticket. However you did a good job with your poem. -
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HAHAH
It's not supposed to be realistic! It's a sarcastic poem, that's what makes it funny. The guy breaks every law in the book and then tells the officer he's not a criminal and the officer should go arrest other people... yyeeeaahhh
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Lol that poems extremely funny... Sounds like something I'd need to keep a copy of in my car for the next time I got pulled over for a cop
Who knows? Maybe if you get him laughing hard enough you could just sneak away...
Good poem! and Goodluck!
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funny
yeah them pesky cops! thanks for your entry and goodluck -
YAY YAY YAY!!! You wrote a FUNNY poem today!
Write a funny poem each and every day
do it first, do it last, do it till the day is past
smile a lot and laugh a little... do it till you burst your middle!
I just made that up for you.
Your poem is VERY funny and makes my Friday night great!
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This is terrific, I love how you ending this piece it gave me a good chuckle. Wishing you luck in the contest. Well done.
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