It was late at night, the pub had closed
so I staggered to my old car
jiggled the key into the lock
for I didn't have to travel far.
Next thing I knew just half way home
was Sergeant Plod in my rear view;
who waved at me to pull over
flashing his lights, what could I do?
He had his little note book out
and approached my automobile,
saying in the gruffest of voice
"You should not be behind the wheel!"
I replied in sweetest tone I could
"Officer...something to be learnt!"
I said "It would be way too hard
to reach the pedals if I weren't"
A black look came across his face
as this question he seemed to bark.
"Why did you run the red stop sign
at the exit from that carpark?"
Hoping he'd surely understand
if I merely told him no lie.
"I thought it was gonna hit me
so I planted my foot down is why!"
His eyes became so wide and blue
I think was because of the lights.
"I have to ask you one more thing
before I start reading your rights."
"Why were you swerving side to side
and acting like a drunk road hog?"
"Oh, Officer that's quite simple...
I was looking for my lost dog!"
With a wry grin upon his face
he replied "Now I must admit,
you are the first to baffle me,
so get going and take your wit!"
Author notes
All purely fictional ...ahem!
Alternative last line:
'so take off with your Bullshit!!'
In a list
A contest entry
- TALKING A COP OUT OF A TRAFFIC TICKET IN RHYME by Melodies.
450 points, ended March 25, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SUPER FUNNY POEMS by Travis7.
350 points, ended June 28, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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thanks for entering my contest
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Witty words to baffle a policeman!
Linda(Ahem) I am sure that these have never been used before
I will need to buy this book asap for the excuses were just excellent!
Good luck to you and I will always make sure I am behind you on the street when in my motor vehicle!
That or if we go out, let's bring the little red wagon with the side rails lol is there jaywalking fines across the great hemishpere?
Good luck to you!!
Yazhi
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Yahzi I do thanks you for appreciating my effort on this one and plase get in quick for the book it is selling fast.
and yes I do believe we have jay walking laws here and that would be where you tell the plod you lost your contact lens and had to retrace steps looking for it
Linda
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Ah... Now I see what I should have done in the past!!
don't argue with the cop and call him stupid,,,
learn to use wit effectively and tickets will
disappear!!! OH and always keep spare dog handy
to throw into the road!!! I've learned much from
you.. OH WISE ONE!!! But the part about this
being fictional? I'm a bit skeptical
You write as if from personal experience
and 
s laurie.
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Oh Lapoe, do you really think I would try something as
way out as those lines...well yes...once
But I was not drunk and I was looking for a 
...me ex husband who was reported leaving two pubs drunk as a skunk and on his motor bike...and I was looking in all the side cuts along the road home to see if he was belly up over the side of the embankment. After a long assisted search he was found at home in bed at which point I yanked him out by the shirt, literally tearing it off his back at the same time 
The worst part of the whole venture was that 'it was MY favourite shirt he had on
Linda
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You have worked really hard with this one. Good story, I failed, my mind was a complete blank. Duhhhh.
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Thanks hon...I doubt for one minute any of that would work but the thought is there
Cannot imagine your mind being blank at all
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OOOOooooo I love the red and yellow!
And the red and yellow reminds me of the lights on a cop car!
This poem is very FUNNY and heck, it could really happen if we drink and drive. So we won't! 
Very funny dialogue that I LOVE to read! 
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Much appreciation for probably to best host comment in my diary
I just hope I gave you a laugh
Partly true and yesss I got through
Linda
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Yeah, yeah, fictional aye !
Hmmmm, just remembering a few "shopping" trips So you need to convince me this is REALLY fictional Well done Cuz and good luck in the contest
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Not the one when we ended up at the Gunny Pool checkin' out the creek and wondering if one was gonna dunk the other????
Either one of us could have been picked up
But don't let the world know please babe!!! -
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Who, me, never
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Going to have to remember all of this! You never know when it might come in handy! Don't think you lost a thing, hon!
The Mister
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So glad to be of service hon!!!
But remember you have to look cute!!!
Wear your Groucho Mask
The Missus
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