My fragile body craves release
Trying to put my inner demons at peace
Unable to fight my lustful cravings for more
Controlled by hunger, I open death's doors
The twisted metal punctures through my cold veins
That tormenting fire that eases my pain
Slowly I rise into a euphoric state
Alone, yearning for more, I begin to hesitate
My eyes begin to flutter while my body goes numb
Is it my turn for death to come?
Intoxicated by my engulfing addictions
Scrounging to find life's other diminutions
The claws of death grasp my soul
My sins run deep, taking their toll
The child inside begins to suffocate
Reaching out for a savior, but its to late
Tormented by my blood stained flesh
The euphoria and reality begin to mesh
The pain is all that's left
Of a soul praying for death
Veins now pulsing, I must comply
With just another prick my problems die
Only for a few moments my demons cease
from this torment there is no release
Author notes
I wrote this when I was in a really bad time in my life. It was my first step to getting out of that life style. I hope this is what you are looking for. If it isnt I will remove it and enter another. thanks.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Coming Up For Air by annabel-lee.
900 points, ended July 10, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold (3) by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is an awesome poem. I could feel your pain as I read this. I loved the imagery. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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amazing poem, very powerful and emotional. highlights the good as seen from the addict as well as the bad it does all around. excellent
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Wow...this is amazing. Wonderful Imagery. All around a really good poem. Thank you so much for the entry and good luck!
P.S.
Props to your vocabulary
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Very powerful peace and very strong use of language. Thank you for entering and good luck
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I feel this poem demonstrates avidly to readers just what it feels like to be so dependent on something so that you can’t live a full life without it, and yet in the end it could ultimately kill you. This is very apparent in the lines “Unable to fight my lustful cravings for more / Controlled by hunger, I open death's doors.” The feelings of the euphoric state spoken of in the second stanza must feel like being given life back, but stanza three then goes on to describe the doubt within the person. Realising that death isn’t that far away, I think stanza four depicts the person is crying out to be saved, while stanza five brings the reality of pain back into the picture. The concluding stanza finalises the poem with the release from life.
I think the author has created a very realistic picture within this poem and its one that many people will relate to and possibly learn from. The images used are very good but I personally found it was the strength of feelings that carried the most weight throughout. The structure of the poem is good though I felt the flow was a little out in some stanzas but the rhyme is also very good and not forced at all.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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With just another prick my problems die
Only for a few moments my demons cease
Another step to eternal peace
i love those lines.. because thats what made drugs so addicting, the emotional attachment, you feel "okay" for once in a world of chaos. thanx for entering & good luck!
PrettyX
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