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Inferno






Is it the fires you seek?

the flame angel
whole with exploding womb
pale crypt listening to puerile tide
the sweet not given but taken
trembling between waves
raging penitent of wan faces
wrinkled, deceived, mortal?

Such fires adhere. The flame white.
blessed taint with an endless fuel
The weir gaping cold
the animal shy in the blazing sun
the fire that touches nothing
yet consumes
destroys the costumes
a pearlescent agony
all that remains---
not I in glad shroud a last time
but half fire flumed and shaped
as to make of years a soft marrow
still retaining a lingering heat
pale in the sullen glow, if it remains so
that which the heated angel kissed
and so you should
with frail hand
reach
and allow my blood to flow.

 

Author notes

image Blake's image of the entrance to Dante's Inferno.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Desiree Darkk
    March 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I want another 15 year old's opinion before I decide if it flows well or not. hehe


  • Touchof1der silver member
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Some of the words caught me up a little because they seemed to create a static in the flow... at least for me. Not because I didn't understand them, simply because it just seemed "too overdone" or too over the top. I do feel this must have taken you a great deal of time to construct and there's no doubt that you have acreative spirit flowing through your veins. Interesting take here.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Dark Whispers
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE THIS PIECE, BUT THAT JUST ME;
    IT DIDN'T FLOW AS WELL AS IT COULD TO BE BUT THE MESSAGE YOU WERE TRYING TO GET ACROSS WAS ONE OF GREAT CHOICE,BETTER WORDING WILL HELP IT FLOW MUCH BETTER. JUST TRYING TO HELP DIDN'T MEAN THIS AS AN INSULT.
    plEASE return the favor~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    *******************************************************


  • Cat gold member
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "but half fire flumed and shaped
    as to make of years a soft marrow"

    this is chocked full of wonderful turns of phrase and incredible imagery- - this in particular is just a brilliant moment in the poem.

    i love the energy of this piece- the layered sensuality- just a wonderful piece-

    i question only L-2- flame angel doesn't work for me but this could be/ probably is just me- it seems to work later with heated angel- the first feels cheap- the second astonishingly right-


    a wonderful entry in the contest and great to find this here.

    m


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    March 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    and so you should
    with frail hand
    reach
    and allow my blood to flow...

    it seems that you took me some other world of mystic nature bringing a kind of feel of the lost world and through this world one can attain the glory of the truth..it is just amazing work my friend...it shivers as well..welldone...







  • NurseChilly gold member
    March 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    She nurses them at the gates of hell.... very clever... all the words are naked and illuminated...

    many thanks for entering our contest and good luck too

    a contender for me

    G.x


  • KittieLyyn
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    damn. that was awesome. great job

    loved this part.

    Such fires adhere. The flame white.
    blessed taint with an endless fuel
    The weir gaping cold
    the animal shy in the blazing sun
    the fire that touches nothing
    yet consumes
    destroys the costumes
    a pearlescent agony
    all that remains---

  • imkleyurflesh
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Damn you're Good

    Hello, Lute. Levels of truth remain written in sand. It would be disingenuous of me to try tieing my weak knowledge of Dante's epic poem to yours in a meaningful way.
    The bits and pieces of that poem I've read was plumbing, to me, a Universal conundrum of heaven and hell. Sweat equity its peak. A common battle even, to seekers of such things; so I've heard from a reliable source.
    Average cabbages, such as myself, reach points just to ponder. My immutable inner baseline beliefs are comfortable to me. Sometimes, words add up to nothing and everything at equal timing. Meaning is its own plumber. Fortune cookies split. Laughter remains.

    Platitudinously yours, ~Clay.


  • passionvine
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Pure Poetry

    Pure poetry.

    I’m reading a new translation of The Decameron now – so thinking about Dante lots.

    This is pure poetry

    in Blakean sense

    and others.

    pearlescent is a great word especially with agony.

    Peace.

  • piccola silver member
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dante...he sure inspired a lot of work with his own, didn't he. Trying to frighten people into being good I guess. His work is very detailed too. this was well written. goes along with the pic.


  • animated lies
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. Your words are unique and so amazingly poetic. I like to point out my favorite lines in poetry, usually, but I loved all of this.


  • neurosine gold member
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Flaming vaginae usually spew forth life. I hate backwards ones with confusing non burning fires. It really brings into question too many things for me to contemplate all at once. Also: avoid flaming vaginae at all costs.


  • NickBlaze
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Truly not certain what the lack of proper gramma meant, but overall I enjoyed the poem. It was not simple, as often people assume poetry should be, and I am not such a person.


  • cvillelisa
    March 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    When I saw that picture, I thought of you (what that means I don't know). Glad you followed the link.



    Hope you do well. It is a very layered poem -- full of heated desire. Good luck.

    Lisa


  • PerVirtuous
    March 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful word painting. I am in awe. Three bunnies for this.


  • Hermit Risin
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    this had a very transcendent feel to it. i really enjoyed the imagery of this poem and the word choices. it was really heavy
    -jesi

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