Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Kind Words Make Me Sick

 

 

they say that there are echoes

in words of kindness, but

there is no harvesting in deeds left undone.

 

Empty in hollow

pregnant with betrayal,

words of kind

saccharine coated deceit;

forked serpent tongues spill forth

and the sugar does not melt;

served with silver spoon and stirred three times

disguising toxicity [arsenic]

taste of bitter and scent of almond.

 

Armed with a dictionary and thesaurus,

nouns, pronouns and verbs of action;

quicksilver [mercury]

spilled poison of kind words.

 

The bouquet wilted in dark chambers of hollow echoes,

in kind words not meant [it was just the thing to say I guess]

and now that they made me sick,

I wonder if you might be choking on them.

 

 

 

Author notes

I picked this title for it made me think how often people speak with kind words, yet they really do not mean it, and the words remain just that-empty words.It is a general write, not personal or pertaining to anyone or anything personal. I guess they are just "empty words" for this contest.....

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    But there are heroes, too, people who feel their pain for others, so they don't have to. But w/o help, every human gets burned at the stake, like Joan of Arc whose spirit-heart burned at the stake along with her body. Emily Dickinson died with her poetry under the bed. Reminding you is reminding me what it means to give your heart to the fire of aloneness...b/c most of us lose our friends when pain becomes intense. Kind eyes can't hurt the darkness of the long day. But there are some who live for others and the others don't seem to notice. But there is one that noyices every hearbeat.


  • SensualWhispers
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    You've done a magnificant job on this poem. I really like your flow, your words that you used, the descriptions and the hatred for empty words. Excellent work. You've made the finalist list. Congrads. Thanks for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kassie


  • Wildequill
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Methinks this goes with the territory, unfortunately... a consumer society invokes a self-perpetuating curse of a de-evolution (however one spells it..) in personal sincerities. This may seem far-fetched, but if you trace the process, it's not a difficult concept to subscribe to. When it's not only legal to deceive the public with mis-information and literal indoctrination, but also rewarded.. the guy with the biggest bank balance gets the respect of his peers (...and the prettiest blonde in the flashiest car)- our imposed language lends itself to self-centeredness. The test is to question the real motivation behind words spoken - invariably they are designed for self-empowerment , personal gain...

    You have hit a nerve on this one - hence the wordal diarrhoea, which I don't apologise for.


    • cherche -d -ame
      April 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      no need to apologize for the 'wordiness". I agree with it 100%. Thank you for taking the time,
      reenie


  • Gay Butch Fairy
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem a lot! Espoecially these lines...

    "Empty in hollow/pregnant with betrayal/words of kind/saccharine coated deceit"

    How often has one done exactly that? Ah dear, the guilt.


  • Laura
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow wow wow this is amazing and ohhhh how we have all stumbled upon finding the right words lol i loved this well done xxx
    laura xxx


  • maa gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it seems that you have the gift of perceiving the underlying energy from which the words spring ... I have the same sensitivity, easily feeling from which place a thoughtlessly uttered word comes ... the same phrase of wisdom pronounced by a sage who lives its essence and a person who just preaches it will have a completely different effect on the listener ...
    in poetry, I often feel unmoved by artificially enhanced poems where words are just used to impress, but the core of it is empty ... likewise, a poem expressed through simple heartfelt words will gain my attention and emotional feedback ...
    so happy to share this gift with you,

    marion


  • requiempoet gold member
    March 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yes!!!!! don't you hate kind words, they drive me crazy! People say I'm mean, but I'm blunt. I'll tell you I hate you instead of making you feel good about yourself...I'll tell you things that everyone else is thinking they just don't want to say because they've been taught that that's disrespectful. Well done.


  • truembrace
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Goodness, this one should bring a trophy! Your use of perfect descriptives in this to give the double meaning of words in their potential to hurt or be used as weapons was "spot on" on this poem. The irony in the piece might just be your last two verses - so perfectly written with both people being so ill-effected by the words themselves.

    I always love coming back to your poetry and finding the uniqe way you cover any theme that comes your way.

    Kimmie


  • SeraphicKisses
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this piece, dark as it may be. I loved your use of complex vocabulary; I feel that it only added to your point and made this poem so much better than it probably would have been otherwise. - Anyone can write a poem and use big words to do so, but rarely anyone can write a good poem with big words that have big meanings


  • Cannonsfire
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dear friend you are so right here, the words said and never acted upon are hollow victories, only the ones who act as well as speak can lay claim to doing anything at all about changing the state of confusion that reigns. Most just say it and move on and forget it. Oh but I am not one of them! Love, C


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yes I hear you my friend. So very true. Many of us say the 'right' thing but don't follow up with the action to prove our worth.
    An excellent write. Love your word usage....truly gifted!
    All the best with this one, both in this contest and future relationships.
    Gaylene

1 - 12 of 12