Upon a long and lonely road
One old man of flesh and bone
Strolled yellow brick or loam and stone,
Beyond the dear and nearly known; all alone.
On a hill along the way
I thought perhaps to stop and pray
And there I heard the Savior say,
“There is no way to save yourself.”
On a bright and sunny day
We did among the flowers lay
Our love. Alas I wouldn’t stay
Without a way to love myself.
Upon a grey and rainy day
I came across a noble sage.
Profound his meanings washed away
Without the means to know myself.
Aside a long and lonely road,
Above the world of flesh and bone,
Beyond the dear and nearly known,
I was the dash twixt dates on stone.
Author notes
Cheat note for late night readers, who would rather not puzzle out the penulitmate line for themselves: I'm of course referring to the dates on a tumbstone and the sum of one's life being reduced to the dash between them.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I can see it...The rhyme sequence. At first I thought the rhyme was out of whack. It took some extra searching, but now that I can see what you've done here I am aghast! Never seen this before. I will have to play around with similar ideas myself. And yes, I like the content.
alby
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Excellent!
This is an excellently written piece sir. I love it! I thought I understood what the dash meant but was still glad you clarifiec it for me to be sure. Great Writing!
Damon
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Very creative write, and you wrote this very well I might add. Liked your style/form, and enjoyed it muchly! Thanks for sharing RJ, and keep up the great works poet! Blessed be, your friend, Timothy~
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After rereading this excellent piece and as suggested Renee's "Dash" as well. I 'm thinking,it's ok if the living don't remember me in the life I've lived. Was taxing enough for me myself. Let alone as an added stressful feature to someone elses.
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We are mere specks with winsome dreams
A wondrous work which includes the whole of mankind. Yes, I can see the likeness in our meandering. My life has been filled with many self-induced valley's. Ditches that I chose to fling myself into, head-on. I simply comprehend the scheme of things with a keener eye since I encountered acceptance. I now have the gift to discern; I have no absolute control. Compared to the beguiling thought that I have any control at all, the former creates tranquility. Fop that I am grateful and welcome the next juncture of living. The one I believe is eternal. I glow, and soar at the thought.
Thank you for sharing this thought-inducing work of spirituality with me. I would like to add you to my Favorites list. By the way...My initials everyone in my immediate family has your initials.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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this is so very very sad. makes me wish to cry. the dash one leaves behind is the most important. thank you for sharing this with me today. i think i shall go cry now. viyanna rosemarie
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With this being untitled,I missed it til now. Sorry. I know the statuary your talking about. It does look more omminous in a sitting such as this.That dash if put there in advance.Does seem like it saying ,"well,are you ready?"Moving piece.Makes one think.
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That was amazing. Very soft, yet sad. WOW!
Hugs, Vampy
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Have read a few other poems with the ~ title and wonder what this signifies. Think every poem should have its own identity, and this well written poem certainly has some deeper meanings so a telling title would really help bring it to the forefront. Good rhythm and rhyme, flow and story this tells.
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