The sun slowly peeks her head out
Around the clouds.
But the darkness always wins.
And the gray shadows of another day ensue-
without you.
I hold my head high, trying to make the world believe it’s alright
Trying to make myself believe
I
Don’t
Need
You.
When I do.
And so, you colored my world gray-
just with your absence.
With the memory of your kiss.
In shambles,
my thoughts of you.
Jumbled up in random confusion, mixed together in my head,
Unspeakable~
under the blue/gray sky,
under what used to be the sun,
thinking of what used to be bright
what used to be, you.
The gray always wins.
The darkness always overtakes the day's light,
The moon replaces the sun.
And you replaced me.
Now I’m left, with endless
Shades
of
Gray...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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hmm very nice.. It reminds me of a dutch song which is called "grey". It actually says that grey isnt such a bad colour, it gives you options to go either way with your life.
Either way, I really like the way you approached this. Like SevenCrimson said the choppy style makes it really sad.. well done -
OOooo la la...I really liked this! What I thought was brilliant was your line that read downward! It really helped to read it as you intended...as I think you did. That was really clever and normally I feel restelss with 'choppy' writes, but this one worked really well. You did it in all the right spots. My favorite line was "and you replaced me."- brilliant!!
Rianna
. Rewarded 4
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wwwooowww i loved the choppy flow of this if that makes any sense. i loved this stanza. just breathtaking.
I hold my head high, trying to make the world believe it’s alright
Trying to make myself believe
I
Don’t
Need
You.
great job.
. Rewarded 4
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AMAZING.. I do believe my breath paused as to not miss a single feeling here. Unfortunately, I know "gray" well ~ and you penned it so full of emotion..
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