You think yourselves preachers
You insignificant teachers,
of emotion, love and life...
All you creatures
have done for me
Is confuse me with violent notion and strife.
I always wanted
you always pretended,
My mind was so haunted
Our Desires blended.
Soon as my role was up I was the puppet, the plaything.
To me a lifestyle, a love and a lifetime; To you a useless fling.
Fate has inspired this hate that I bring.
Hatred only ever started to burn inside
Because you lied.
You're so sick and twisted.
Left my mind so misted
That it still replays.
Yes in my darkest of hours,
I still find myself in a haze.
Drop me for what?
Because I didn't give into your addiction?
Your own selfish affliction!
Vows of love didn't accomplish your mission.
You couldn't give me your condition.
You crushed me. You shattered the serenity.
You crushed me. You disproved your own purity.
Well I'm happy I'm finally losing the will to remember the good.
Things are slowly becoming the way that they always should.
I'm a fool, an incompetent loser but I don't need your crutch.
Everything I ever said was true. What you said doesn't amount to much.
Respect is gone, never regained, you can claim your indifference.
You're too ignorant. You're too dense. You Lack All Common Sense.
Earn.
Burn.
Churn.
Learn.
Turn.
Blackened Bleeding Hearts are no longer my concern.
Author notes
Contest Notes: My AP Name is XChrisUnknownX. This poem was very close to my first breakup, in which I deluded myself into believing I was in true love. I am by nature a nerd and a gullible one at that. She is a goth, a drunk and a drug addict. She did nothing but break her promises and tell me how I should try this or that. I did not succumb to her drug addictions, but I gave up much of what I was for her before she dumped me. It's a year later, and I am far from who I was when this was written.
Original Notes:...Days are rolling on and on past what I had first considered to be one of the most monumentally painful days of my life...Days..rolled into weeks...rolled into months- I talk about her actively less and less- but every once in awhile in my "darkest" and most lonely moments I remember the pains... People perceive this as obsessed- and perhaps I was- People also perceive this as wanting her back - No. No longer. It is a very twisted day when I care for someone less than I care for strangers... Especially when we have any history. Enough of this- It was just too good a poem to not write, it was formulated on the three hour trip home via train, ferry and bus- a.k.a. my quietest moments.
A contest entry
- We're in heaven , we're in hell. by FlaviusArrianus.
525 points, ended May 29, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken promisses... by Wolf Mistress.
1200 points, ended February 23, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Use me,Screw me,but you don't fool me by ExpectingMommy18.
600 points, ended March 1, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow..very emotional, and I think it's hard when you are in love with someone that has an addiction...on drugs or alcohol...
I think over time you lose faith when you are lied to over and over...
I think you're very worth to be loved by someone that only is addicted to you
I loved your write a lot,
and I do hope your life goes well now..
Good luck in my contest
XXJeannette
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Thank you. Since the time this was written things took a steep decline, but now on such a higher incline that writes similiar to this are all I have left of the negative emotions I held from that time. Thanks for thinking I'm worth that, I've come to believe that too, and I think she believes that in herself too.
We'll leave it at; Things are much better.
and I hope all goes well for you as well.
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this was great,you showed such great emotion with this peice. i enjoyed reading this.
thank you so much for entering and good luck in the contest -
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Welcome.
I'm glad I entered, thank you for your comment.
=] And I'm glad you enjoyed reading!
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Oh..wow.
Firstly, the raw emotion in this poem struck a chord in me, I read the first stanza, and I was hooked immediatly.
Then when I hit the stanza,
"Soon as my role was up I was the puppet, the plaything.
To me a lifestyle, a love and a lifetime; To you a useless fling.
Fate has inspired this hate that I bring."
I was very much so wow-ed.
Your poem has great beat and flow, I really, really appreciate your style.
Great write, thank you so much for entering.
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And thank you.
Thank you not only for a deep feedback but for making the contest at all. I really do my best in all my poems- this one turned out better than several others though due to the depth of feeling behind it.
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Wow.. such emotion.. I'm speechless!
I love this!!
The last line blew me away.
Angie -
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Thanks.
Thank you. I'll be in Florida 'til Tuesday so I won't be around for more comments on your works. =] But I'll definitely be ready and willing to see'em once I'm back. As a general comment, I really do enjoy reading a lot of the writes you've blessed the site with. x] Such as the Eagle one or the one about children not being born to deserving parents, though sometimes sad- they're things that are real, and come with emotion- And often people who make good connection to sad emotion can relate well to happy ones as well. Talk to you later, and thank you again for the approval!!
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