I see her standing there, cold, torn and broken
The pain clearly written all over her face
Her thoughts, words never spoken
A lost angel that has fallen from grace
The heartaches and lies she has endured
Have left her alone and jaded
All her dreams have somehow been obscured
Everything she wanted to be, gone and faded
Trying to keep her head up high
Trudging forward into the complete unknown
Wandering these lonely streets looking up at the sky
No one to catch her and lift her up, she’s on her own
I saw her standing there, cold, torn and broken
The pain clearly written all over her face
Her thoughts, words never spoken
A lost angel that had fallen from grace
Author notes
Lost Soul
AP Sister
A contest entry
- Live the Life, Taste the Pain by Silly Rabbit..
1200 points, ended April 18, 2007, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dark and sad rhyming poems please by nobodys-girl.
425 points, ended April 25, 2007, 66 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak or Forever Hold Your Peace (prewrite now allow) by Musicqueen1012.
500 points, ended April 22, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Strike my emotions and Join my AP Family by Diggs McGee.
468 points, ended July 20, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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interesting, with the first and last stanza. one is present and one is past tense.
the flow was quite good. however, i feel as if you have written the same basic thing as every other "fallen angel" poem i have read. it's good. it just feels generic. your view point is interesting though.
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Thanks for your comment. As for it sounding generic I appreciate your honesty but I was just writing about feelings I had. Thanks again for the omment
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wow....thats all i have to say about this....wow...thankyou so much for entering my contest and best of luck
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this is a really good poem!! wow i really liked it.. good job!! amazing..
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So sad,my heart aches for this lost angel.I thought you did very well in bringing the 'cold,torn and broken' into the body of the poem.Best of luck
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Beautifully done. I especially love the first (so, of course, also the last) and second stanzas. The last line of the third stanza could stand to be rewritten, but I don't really have any suggestions, sorry. Still, it's a great piece of work and you should be very proud of it. Thanks for sharing, take care.
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I love the first and last stanza, they flow very well. In line 1 of the second stanza, I think you left out an h..for the word "has".
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so good, i loved this .
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