Filled with such feeling
you melt into those who know you
Expressions you possess
create the feeling that you can
tell just what I'm thinking
you reach so deep into me
and bring me out of the ordinary
that imprisons my deepest thoughts
so indecisive
a forbidden state of unconscious
you aren't of this world
such a dream saturated
state of mind, so alluring
what secrets do you hide
behind black holes
reaching out
down into my soul
what secluded thoughts
run through your veins
with ever slowing heart beat
...don't forget to breath...
chaos follows as your shadow
confusion is your brother
such tender tears
you shower down
into this sea of emotion
a fish set free
a romance of our vivid minds
such hasty patience
keeps you waiting
any problems will surely
pass you by, without care or worry
don't worry about what comes
tomorrow, together we can not fail
your love of the stage
will take you far
to places niether of us
could pronounce
placing yourself in their shoes
you understand better than most
but you can't stay in one place for too long
you've gotta run
among the swings and the trees
such fragile silk that we tread
don't tear the thread
for fear of what's ahead
looking deeper into your reality
amazing, your power over me
your smile, so healing
it's amazing
every delicate feature
mind and spirit aline
a magnificent tapestry
of a journey to be made
complex visions
from beyond this world
governed with imagination
and sumptuous illusion
you're not of this world
belief in one greater
brings us together
not of this world
Author notes
Option # 8
A contest entry
- Hey!!!!!! I Love Options Contests so here goes another one! (Prewrites Welcome) by Patience15.
525 points, ended April 20, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by DelaneyDisaster.
300 points, ended April 2, 2007, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Are You Feeling? ((PRE-WRITES ALLOWED!)) by A Murderous Lament.
390 points, ended April 28, 2007, 167 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To You... My Love by pimp daddy satin.
303 points, ended April 21, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Timeless Wisdom.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 261 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INSPIRE ME TO WRITE AGAIN by forever dreaming.
1500 points, ended October 4, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The complexity yet simplicity of the story gives the reader something to hold onto after being read, I have found only one mistake in the intire piece, and I think flaws make a piece perfect if created out of purpose, but as to the piece's ellegance... there is something so wonderful like the soft feel of satin that keeps you coming back, I will have to read more of your work in hope it holds par with this individual piece, good job.
---an old wolf
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I really enjoyed reading this poem. Its packed with emotion and a true sense of depth and passion. I feel that this shows a true poet at work. Well done and many thanks for entering my contest. Good luck to you.
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"and bring me out of the ordinary
that imprisons my deepest thoughts"
I love those lines.
I can't say I relate much to it, though I like the description and the imagery. It's very creative! -
Amazing write! Full with emotions, so deep and very beautifully written. Great work!
Keep writing and God Bless
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Creative and compelling piece. You really brought the emotional pull into these lines, drawing the reader into your thoughts deeply from the very beginning. Excellent work! Congrats on the Gold for this write!
~Lori
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Great Job here. It had me hooked from start to finish. thanks for your entry and best of luck.
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I adore the creativity used to express your thoughts. You definitely paint alot to think upon. A very well written poem
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Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it although some spelling/grammar review is called for in this piece, it is still a well penned thought! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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hey this was a great piece to read. i especially love
chaos follows as your shadow
confusion is your brother
i dont know why i like this part but i do. and the rest of the poem, of course, i adored. keep up the good work. -
yay!
really good stuff i liked it =D
just remember to proofread next time <33
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WoW
This is such a deep, passionate, emotional, powerful poem. It's just really amazing I love alot of different parts of your poem it's truley mind flattering and leaves you speechless. WELCOME TO THE FINALISTS.
A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33 -
OMG
thas like deep and stuff thanx fer the comments on mines
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I think I might have a cry...
This poem is a great work and I love the imagery in it. I thank you so much for writing this and If I could hug you right now, you know that I would. It seems you have explained me to a dot and I'm just about in tears of happieness from the words written here. Once again I must say great work.
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