my favorite,
only meal was the pattern of dirt encrusted in your shoes
because it replaced
what was inside
me before you came,after you left.
and there's a reason those boys
got lost
-on streets of cleavage leading them
on a one-way path to hell
---which is better than any of them deserved
for being klutzy
with our delicate parts,
with our fragile hearts.
and for leaving it all;
leaving us all
with unwanted babies
who will grow up to be diluted down--
just like their mothers..
Author notes
mehhff. sorry about this one.
In a list
A contest entry
- It's a Day Before Neverland by Speaking in Tongues.
390 points, ended March 23, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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woah!!haha, this is a fave of mine crash.Ilove it. <3
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NO NO NO
there is nothing to be sorry about for this poem i absolutely am in love with it. GREAT JOB!!! -
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=]] well thank you!
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Oh but sorry? Why? WHAT FOR I DEMAND YOU TELL ME. The ending was so fucking brilliant.
"---which is better than any of them deserved
for being klutzy
with our delicate parts,
with our fragile hearts."
--like the rhyme and this idea.
"with unwanted babies
who will grow up to be diluted down--
just like their mothers.."
--oh baby, I feel like I should kiss you for this. It's so amazing, you don't even know do you? It's harsh and ballsy, rough and realistic. It's the street corner poetry. It's a let down inside but maybe being diluted isn't so bad. Maybe being like our mother isn't so bad. We have to wait, hey, baby, if one person thinks you're amazing, it's worth it. I make no sense, I know.
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hahah, you make perfect sense-- although as always, you're much too sweet..!!!
I love you dahhling! ♥
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Absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for the entry. Worthy write.
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and thank YOU for the gold!! I'm estatic, as you can clearly see.
=]]]
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beautiful
harsh.
sad
my favorite,
only meal was the pattern of dirt encrusted in your shoes
because it replaced
what was inside
me before you came,after you left.
you're amazing honye
a true inspiration.
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ly!
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those clappies rock my world.
-when they come from you.
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I like this one. Pretty...
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