Moon eyes,
half circles
of a pale horizon.
Your voice entices
nightly
as hours evaporate
into
waking memories
of dreams.
Reality fades
into the face of aching
for liquid reveries.
Soothing
and somnolent
I trace each piece
of feeling,
every word
with soft fingers.
These thoughts are intertwined;
snowflake designs
encircling pale skies.
This is not real
but I can still taste
this unspoken
kiss
where daylight fades
to twilight.
In a list
A contest entry
- I need to catch up... (for my favorites) by IrishYndina.
800 points, ended April 24, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I really like the way you've constructed this, with triplet stanzas. Keeping the lines short made it read quickly and broke it up in a way that made it feel just slightly surreal, which I think is a good quality, considering the content. I love the phrase "I trace each piece of feeling" - something about that really strikes a true chord, you know? Very pretty - I enjoyed the read.
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BEAUTIFUL!
I just love this piece, filled with beautiful vivid images! Subtly taken by the closing line!
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I really liked this poem.It has a soft, artisitic and kind of romantic sense about it! Nice!
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a delicate feel to this poem i think, softly floating sighs down as the piece melts. liquid reveries - now that sounds good to me for some reason lol
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may I say you are good at reading poems. these are exactly my feelings on it.
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Wow such imagery you've painted with your words, very well done, very intriguing.
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i loved what you did with sound in here. there was one place in the third to last stanza-- i believe that's where it was; we'll just say it was, as i feel not like scrolling up because i'm lazy-- that had my mouth doing all sorts of funky, amazing things.
beautiful, but i expect nothing less from you.
j -
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thank you!
hugs
Lea
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Massive imagery and flow. It is short, concise, but i feel this sort of invisible enormity captured within it---i think its way of alluring the readers mind and forcing it to think outside the box, is something to be proud of. The title suits it rather well.
This poem leaves an undescribable and undefatigable effect on me... the words were very adequate and unified.
All The Mhyko
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Stunning.
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thank you
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