Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Sketch of Gray

All around me the world is only gray;
A sketch of a falling shadow
That speaks with its silence.

And the wind is just a dream
As it haunts the chimes
Hanging outside my window.

The clouds spin and scream
With the light that shatters
And rains down from the sky.

I wish for a few moments peace,
But the chaos doesn't pause,
Doesn't listen to me at all.

If the sky were always just
A paint-splattered sunset
Of pinks and reds,

Wouldn't you eventually
Get tired of the color,
And want it black as night?

But still the world is standing still,
Just a charcoal drawing in
The book of time.

Author notes

I'm not satisfied with this title. Can anyone think of a better one?

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Poet of Dreams
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!

    It's true. the world can be a dismal place at times. all the chaos of lights and colors can become overwhelming. you really capture this feeling well.

    Good Write and God Bless
    The Unrequited Writer
    Ben B.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hood Wink

    This world is pretty dismal you are right... Little hope is left with this fading shadow of a star that we may put ourselves as, or call ourselves, if we are being metaphorical. Anyway, a great piece that establishes the way the world is right now and how we are pretty lost at this precise time.
    Dismal may be a good title, or something like it. Just to describe the word Gray. I find it a nightmare trying to pick titles for my poems as well.


  • LittleAnn
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem shows that your writing covers more than just one subject... Thanks for dharing your talemt!

    Sorry, I'm not good at finding titles... I initially call most of mine [Untitled] lol

    Keep up the great work!


  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting, I loved the comparisons and yes, nothing exists without its opposition for not only would we miss it but those having never seen such would not even acknowledge that they were missing anything, knowing no different. As to the title, perhpas something like The Colour of Chaos? just a thought. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *

    YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HOODWINKED ; Courtesy of the Poetic Bandits


    • IridescentRose
      April 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I kind of like that title, but I'll have to think about it... But thanks for all the comments once again and glad you liked it!


  • blondone
    April 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    You've been Hood-Winked by the Poetic Bandits

    This is my kind of write deep dark and powerful, all the words rings back the truth for me back to my depression, this write has lots of imagery and the flow and tone adds to the words you have written all so well done Hmmm a new title (Sketching Charcaol) I really enjoyed this poem...


  • OnlyInMyDreams
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ok,w ell this was great! i loved it lots and you always write such pretty poems, this one is going on my favorite list of your poetry! but im really crappy when it comes to titles, but ummmm how bout "Charcoal Sketches" or nope, never mind thats all i got, but sorry im sucky when it comes to titles! but anyways i loved this poem and keep writing your awesome poems Carrie-Bearie! luv yas!

    Kara *hugs*

1 - 8 of 8