I once brushed my hair with your comb
and then shed your curls darkly.
you once placed your gum into my coat pocket
and then teased me into thinking
I had taken it, filling me with a sort of helpless denial
that bit me up without being significant.
these are my spiral thoughts
as I lie naked, flush against the tiles
of the bathroom floor. it is comforting here:
if one takes a bleaching agent to porcelain
everything can be made clean again.
the sink is still on.
so is the tub.
next door, a woman is reading a book and sad.
I know because I can hear the pages rustle in her soul.
and it is empty here,
save for me, climbing the roses on the wallpaper with my eyes.
I long for a man’s comb
and I long for gummy pockets.
but I am here on this linoleum,
and you do not visit me anymore.
Author notes
hey mary cat...i know it's been a while, but i logged in and liked this challenge picture.
A contest entry
- Image- 20 by Cat.
625 points, ended March 26, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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yes, gilly is right about the pronouns.. I think it could probably do with some tightening. But it very nice..
a harsh ending.. xxx
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thanks...it actually was shorter when i first wrote it, then it sort of grew and got things added to it. ah well. at least i'm writing again. =)
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i was so excited to see your name pop up on the contest! a very nice reentry into the world of AP- this is perhaps a bit thick here and there but it contains all the delicious imagery you were known for and the wonderful turn of phrase- thanks so much for entering
m -
I like this piece... but there are just a few too many pronouns..
if you pared it down slightly and watched how your imagery evolves... i'm sure you can come up with a grand piece...
nice to see you posting again
many thanks for entering our contest and good luck too
G.x
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