I'm too old for you
It just can't work
It wasn't meant to be
I'm surprised you didn't see it sooner
You probably think
I'm dodging you
But truth be told
I knew I'd have to hurt you
There's vital information you know
You just highly ignore
Since I'm 4 years older
I'm turning 18
No one wants to see a Senior guy
Dating a Freshman girl
Especially her father
Her best friends
I had to break you twice
But better when you're young
You can bounce back easier
Unfortunately,
I hate breaking people
So thrice
Is not an amount I will be reaching
We will endure
So muce more
In life,
That's hard enough
Without me being imprisoned
For being a pedophile
You are my style
But not my age
I know this cannot work
I'm sorry I can't be there for you
I know you loved me
And I loved you
I'm so sorry
That a number is ruining us both
Author notes
From: Daniel Jose Carrasquillo(ostrasized)
To: Vicky Elizabeth DuVall
Vicky Series #5
prequal: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2628216
sequal: http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3733390
option 3
currently 18 years old
In a list
A contest entry
- Age by flight.
900 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me how it all ends. by tragicallyGifted.
1750 points, ended April 22, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why is it bad to be a grown up? by BethanyBoo.
390 points, ended May 1, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Romance: Love, Fantasy and Passion by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended May 11, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovely Options by DrownInImperfection.
1200 points, ended July 16, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 3 Options by With Broken Wings.
375 points, ended November 4, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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wow such a sad poem i hate that age matters so much to ppl, i just hate that. i'm involved with a 17yr old soon to be 18 and my parents seem fine with it...yet he lives an hour and a half away from me, yet i hate how society sees age as a deciding factor in love, it seems unfair, unjust and just wrong, i wish ppl could look past the age and into the intentions of the person...but *sigh* not many may do that but you always have to have some hope that they will look past it. but sorry for rambling on..awesome poem
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
this was very sad. i hate the fact that a stupid number has to ruin a potentially great relationship. it's understandable if, say, a 12 year old was dating a 16 year old, but other than that, i don't think age should matter after people are of the age of 16. but of course, that's just my opinion. before i go into one of my little "age differences" rants, i shall move on to a different subject. it's good that you let this girl down easily. no matter how old she is, it still hurts, and most guys just don't care. they just break it off suddenly without any consideration for the girl's feelings. i think it's great that you didn't do so. thank you for your entry. good luck in the contest and finding happiness.
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how very sad this write it. if it is based on truth, i would like to congratulate you for doing the adult thing with this situation. so many need to realize the consequences of turning eighteen before it is too late. i think: So muce more muce should be much more. through this write i found admiration for one so young yet acting as the adult he is about to become. thank you for sharing this with me through this raven qualifier you have entered and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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this was a good write.
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this was a bit rude becouse it was about teenagers loving each other! i never want a boyfrend becouse boys are icky. thankyoo for the entery.
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There was an ending.. and there was a story to it.. but it lacked the poetic flair I've been looking for.
Good attempt, as always. -
Wow
This was like reading a love note to someone, which I assume that's kinda what this is, haha
I like the way you let her off nicely, most guys don't really care and just break it off, not caring about the other person.
I also liked how you ended it
Lovely write, keep it up!
♥ Lacey
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thats so sad. i feel that if you love someone age doesnt matter but thats just me. the poem was great.
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wow. darn it all...it ended so sad! but then again, four years is a lot. and i liked the way you ended it:
"I'm so sorry
That a number is ruining us both"
it really made your point regrettable and so sad. great poem! -
I like it
this is sad one it is such a shame it doesn't have a happier ending. Though well ended XxX
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Wwo that was a very nice poem, but so sad at teh sam etime, it terrible that age really matters to everyone I can see ii if its belwo 15 but aanotehr that it shouldn't amtter.
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but it does, 18 is the cut off, i have to start going for older woman or else risk going to jail for being human and wanting affection, even if from someone younger.
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4 years seems like such a huge difference when you're young, yet if you were 28 and she was 24, no one would think twice.
It's good and important you recognize there's a problem with it now, for your own sake as well as hers. I don't see a problem with the two of you being friends though...and another 4 years down the road, who knows? At this stage, it's really all about actions verses feelings. The feelings aren't wrong, in my opinion, it's only what you do with them that becomes an issue. 
Technically, I liked the style you've used to write this and have no suggestions for improvement. I think the piece does and says exactly what you intended for it to. I did notice a typo in line 3 (ment = meant) and did you mean "pedophile" in line 29?
Nice job with this, and I hope everything works out for the both of you.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Wow, this is like the guy point of view of
my situation. Except he's 20 and I'm 15...
though the poeticness of this isn't usually
what I'd go for, the personal meaning really
caught up with me.
Almost freaky to see the guys side. -
TEEN AGE SHEEN
Teen age looks like a note book page. if scibbled well with neat hand writing it looks good. if otherwise, it may prove bad IN TASTE
verse from a teen age sheen -
thats so sad! i dont think the character you described would be a pedohpile if both him and the girl approved of the relationship, but thats just me!
very well done, me liked!
luv coop
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....
Love it. I am reaching that age as well. I can realate. Great job
A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33
Applause
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That was a lovely poem, and yet....so very painful to read. Number ruin alot of relationships.
And it's true...no one likes to see a freshman and a senior dating...sometimes not even a sophomore and a senior. Good Job.
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well that's quite the finale. short and straight to the point. and yet, you aren't at all harsh. short ones tend to be that, but this isn't.
well, i hope the finale's nice for you...
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The poem itself seems well thought and age can suck pretty bad when it comes to love. This had a lot of emotion and passion, short and sweet. Keep up the work.
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