is this what it feels like to be growing up?
to carry the wieght of the world on your shoulders
to have your heart so full of dread
to have so many problems you'd rather be dead
is it natural to worry about every thing?
and fear the suprises tomarrow could bring
to have confusion ruling your life
and tension so thick you could cut it with a knife
to life your life from day to day
and try to stay out of everyones way
please tell me this is a stage
that i'll grow out of it with age
that i'll wake up tomarrow and see
that this person i've become really isn't me
Author notes
Blondevamp
Write a poem on growing up, losing the innocence and clarity of childhood. Use vivid imagery and metaphors.
A contest entry
- Age by flight.
900 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Wonder... by lie.
700 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options for everyone! (prewrites also allowed) by anoetic poet.
450 points, ended April 25, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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An earnest write, and I can absolutely identify with this. Liked the rhyme and the honesty of it. Apart from a few typos this is a wonderful job!
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I think you meant to put "to live your life..." in this line: to life your life from day to day.
As for the rest of the poem, I think this is a very relateable [though that's not really a word] topic.
The rhyme scheme was solid and not overpowering, I thank you for that.
I'm not sure if this is a direct metaphor but some lines fit into that category.
Thank you for entering, this is a good piece. -
Though this isn't a bad poem
the lines where very cliche,
maybe figure out a way to bring something
more personal into this write would
make it better? -
yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
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WOW KOOLIOS
wow, very deep and questionie....full of most of the questions people in this world ask themselves wen, as stated in blondevamp's title and poem, growing up....some of those things i can relate to in ways....
well keep up the awesomeness writing...I give you a BAJILLION CRAZY WHACKY SMILEY CLAPPING DUDES....but the most they allow me to give is 3 so HERE YA GO....have some smiley friends..lol
~Selene
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NICE BABETTE!
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