Imagine if you hadn't broken my trust,
do you think that we still would've kept in touch?
What if you'd never lost your temper,
acted more like a father, less of a leader,
and more of a teacher, would I still love you then?
You always played the joker, refused to grow,
now you realise you were just old.
It's too late to bridge the gap we created,
we've left it far to long, we seem happy
to smile and linger on. But don't you
ever wonder? What of my daughter?
So I ask you again, what if you could turn back time?
Would you do it all differently?
Or would you still let it go by?
Either way it doesn't matter now,
I only have this to say;
I hate you only because I love you.
Author notes
The picture above is of my dad and I when I was two years old. It's one of my favourites.
A contest entry
- Tears by bigXfatXemo.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Hrmm
Well, first of all i would like to identify some discrepancies i noticed in your poem. In the second line of the second stanza you end with "just old" however if you read it carefully you notice that it misses a beat, so an addition of a word perhaps "just too old" may fix that. In addition, I feel the beat which you began with and concluded with was not possessed in the second stanza. It made the poem less effective then it should have been. As well, it seems however minimal that you inherently rhyme within the first and last stanza, perhaps this is the reason for my uncertainty?
Otherwise I enjoyed your poem, its nice to wonder about past events and how different we would be if they hadn't turned the way they did.
Bravo
-
Aww the picture was beautiful, really contrasted with the feelings conveyed in the actual poem. Well written, sad but also sensed anger in this piece. Overall a great write. Please include your option in the author's box though =]
Frankie xXx
-
this is clearly a really emotional peice and i think it was well written. nice.
-
This is a great poem you wrote here dear poet, sad and emotional. I am sorry your dad couldn't be there for you growing up, they play an important role in our lives and maybe one day he will realize the mistake he has made. Well written poem dear poet
-
OMG!! What apowerful, emotional roller coaster you have here. The desire to be loved by a parent and yet not have it dddoes make one wonder the what if's.. Great write..
-
This is a sad and emotional write you penned here, I hope you and your father can patches up the bridges between you both. You expressed your thoughts and feelings nicely, well done dear poet
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
