If I fly and write
something in the corner of the horizon
would you get it ?
as I do not see you, hear you ....
If I sing a song to the wind
would you hear it ,
would it tell you?
if I tell the stars something
would they blink to you ?
The sighs, gleam and colours,
the words said in each moment
would remain here,till you come back.
would you come back to renew them ?
A contest entry
- cookies and cream ice cream (for you) by u took my user name.
650 points, ended November 22, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Norman Crabtree.
390 points, ended December 23, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Key To Enlightenment : Love ? Wisdom ? Both ? by maa.
543 points, ended April 6, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I am absolutely convinced that whatever we think, say or do,
will be perceived by the entire universe … since the separation
we so often perceive, does not really exist … in absolute reality …
I love this quote that says something like : “when somebody sneezes
in one corner of the planet, it causes an earthquake on the other side …”
so continue to sing your song to the wind, the stars and the moon,
so we can all hear its beauty …
thank you for your participation in this contest,
maa
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thank you
thankyou maa
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YAY i like it :-)
I'm very glad you considered my comment. I usually leave long comments with suggestions or what not.... but they're always ignored lol.
I really do like :-) I liked the original too, of course, but now ... i don't know.... flows better for me.
Thank you!
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i was loving the first three stanzas.... very nice and the word choice has sweet essence
kinda cute :-P
i am not so sure about the last stanza though. you might want to work a little on it.
If you do work on it before i judge the contest, let me know so i can re-read it. I really really like this. it's just the last stanza that is throwing me off
Thanks for entering
Best wishes,
Albasoul -
I like this....It sort of explains the plight of two being far away that love one another at a distance, and you are trying to get her attention.But all the love stored with in that you would send to her remains in your heart too...Beautiful words and thoughts
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Bravo!
Dear Poet, I like this images you have created for my mind. Longing is almost as wonderful as love is. You have captured the magic of yearning. I love the opening line. Jane
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Oh how lovely
it sings,
is elegant,
almost has wings.
I got so much from so little and that is poetry.
excellent.
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lovely
your comment is also lovely ...
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