Dying flashes from her not distant past.
Regrets and guilt abounding in her tortured mind.
Realization of a task not conqured.
Her life is leaving her now, slowly ebbing away.
Malcontent in her every fiber.
"Father,in my task here I have failed you."
In her mind reaching, struggling against death.
Slipping from this world to the next.
Her last vision, her dying legacy of things undone.
Tormented to the end, by the Beast of her own Alcoholism.
Author notes
I know this is short. I thought the struggle was best kept simple. I hope everyone can understand my point of view.
A contest entry
- **PICTURE INSPIRATION!!!** Just one picture and your imagination by Naridill.
300 points, ended March 28, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
hi, this is interesting- could be the feelings of anyone who has felt they have experienced a useless life, until the twist at the end and you identify it as alcoholism. I know what it's like to feel like you wasted your life, even when you tried really hard to make it right- I can only imagine what it's like for an alcoholic to feel that way!
-
Don't apologise for shortness!!! i always love short poems, that are written so well that they get the msg across better than a longer poem.
"Dying flashes from her not distant past."
I love that opening line! Almost as much as I loved the end! it was a beautiful poem! A wicked meaning!
Thank you for entering!
-
Ick.
I don't like that picture >.<
Really nice poem though. Awesome view point. Great write.
A MURDEROUS LAMENT -
This was Wonderful!
Well done. i have been touched and influenced by your meaning-ful words in this poem. yes, we sometimes fail each other..
but me MUST look ahead and start afresh
Well done dear reader, you must be proud
Hope to hear more form you! keep writing!!!! -
this was great! I think you will be surprised at just how many people are able to relate to this poem. We all have been touched by this terrible disease. Thanks for sharing your insight with all of us. good luck in the contest. I hope you do well. peace and light always in all ways....kp
-
I find this a wonderful description of a tormented soul. I enjoy simple and to the point, and so I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing
-
The flow in this was quite good. My first impression, before reading, was that it was going to sound wordy, but it didn't. On the first line, maybe you meant "not so distant..."??
Overall, it was an ok poem, not fantastic, but the simplicity got the message across adequately.
Thanks for sharing. -
Without looking at the picture featured in the contest, I can't really say that I liked this very much. Maybe it is a bit too on-the-nose, or maybe I just can connect to the manner of your speach (everyone's style is different... sometimes the author and reader are just incompatible).
Best wishes in your future works.
~Das -
It didn't need to be a longer because you get it across so so well. Fantasticly written.
Well done. Good luck.
P x -
good write it may have been short but the amount of emotion within the words was as much as any epic or sonnet... good luck in your contest and also in your future writes
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
