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I remember

I remember the day
When you say that
You wont hurt me
I remember the day
When you say that
We well be tougher for ever
I remember the day
When you looking in my eyes
And say that
I cant live without you
I remember the day
When you look in my eyes
And say that
I love you Atiq forever
I remember the day
When you say that
I'm everything for you
I remember everything you say to me


Author notes


Written July 5th, 2003

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • TerrifiedSky silver member
    July 5, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Good message... work on the suggestions that have been left... and then send me a message bout you doing so and I'll read them again. You're writing intrigues me...hopefully we'll get them easier to read. Thanx.................Jessica.

  • My Little Pinay
    July 5, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    Good Write

    Hey, I was reading the critiques on your other poems, and I think they're right - you're a good writer, there are just a few grammatical/spelling errors, etc. Good job though. =)