In haste, we live within insidious veils.
Requiring their building blocks,
to map the steps that take us home.
Condemned to waver in a ridged view of life,
that craves normality from everyone.
Leaving behind, blank peelings of the heart,
wrapped in a coarse quilt of denial.
Left to tread the sharks that feast,
off the myriad of our shortcomings.
So our psyche suffer the consequence.
Can't rationalize the pain,
Constantly coming up short..
Your reality is not conclusive.
We are mere pebbles in their corporate game.
Where stature and stability sparkle like zirconia,
in this holographic rapture.
While booms explode like neutrons,
in the cracks of our disconnection.
Six-Hundred million years of life,
and I still can't be myself.
Author notes
A contest entry
- reality is a disease by Envelope.
425 points, ended May 30, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I love the flow of this.
How it's sort of choppy but still sounds nice.
Good job. :] -
hmm i loved it, nothing left to say, the fact that it;s a prewrite hinders me from giving you the gold right off the bat, i tend to hate when people just toss poems into contests, however im glad you submitted this, the other contestants will be hard pressed to top this.
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i love the subject
it tackles a matter that is slowly becoming more urgent to me.. what are we becoming? what makes our lives important anymore... thanks for the great poem
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Awesome
Another great write, very artistic. You have a unique quality that is magnetizing. Where stature and stability sparkle like zirconia, in this holographic rapture. That's some tasty truth spoken in a creative way.
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Oh wow completely agree. Love your use of language. I'm glade someone feels the way I do about our world. I think I'm adding you to my favorites, and coming back to read more of your work. Your use of metaphor was well thought out, and you are right our world does command conformity.I want to be able to think for myself to. I hope we wake up one day. Great job.
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Wow what a poem you wrote with your list of words,very nicely done, you flowed them together so well. The background goes so well with this, very nicely done.
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Why aren't there more comments?
This was amazing, simply put. You verbalized EVERYTHING I am struggling with (and losing, and all that I am angry/sad/lonely about. This should have hands down won any competition. Your last line was brilliant. Will I EVER be allowed to be myself? I doubt.
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woah! this reminds me of being stoned and paranoid. but it feels good to read, as it's from the perspective of someone who knows what's going on.. i can't really describe what i mean but this poem made me feel something intense and that's a beautiful thing, and in my eyes - a successful poem/piece of art. the "Six-hundred million years of life" line is really powerful and overcomes all the bad that is spoken of. i love this, thanks for sharing friend. -wave
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Great...great...
And once again, great!
You put the words in the word bank in a form that...
Well, I bet it's not easy for all to understand. It takes an interesting look on our ..."reality".
But if you think further more...you understand why I put the inverted commas there.
This is DEFINATELY not your everyday poem...it's a special one. It really makes me think. Especialy these two(which I'll also quote as my favorites):
"Requiring their building blocks,
to map the steps that take us home."
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