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Goodbye

.

Say you love me, just one more time,

whisper sweet lies in my ears.

Help me believe it was all true,

softy wipe away my tears.

.

Murmur sincerities from the heart,

your ambrosial deception.

Tell me you have really changed

that I am your exception.

.

Hearts believe what logic rejects,

they banish the web of lies.

Let lost love slowly drift away

with susurrate cries.

.

You love me, you love not,

will I ever truly know?

Someday I will say goodbye to you

and forsake the sting of woe. 

Author notes

Image by ~wrednawiedzma at deviantart.com
Purple Poka Dots
Option 4

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34
  • duhhitsyasmine
    1 day ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    wow just WOW!!! i wish i was as good as you at making poems. this is a good example of true love. people can be fake sometimes and thats what u anted to show in your poem. you explained it very well im surprised buecuase people sometimes never say "goodbye" and it can be heartbraking. well done and i hope to read more wonderful peoms of yours

  • Tangled Angle
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    Rather cliche, however, I loved the ending--great job on that.

  • Luminescence
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    Nice, it was definatly worth all of the trophies that you recieved on it. I love the picture that you used with it... its very fitting.

    I like the phrase... murmmer sencerities from the heart.... nice line.

    Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,

    ~lumin


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent Poem Congratulations on all the trophies I wish you the best of luck and thanks for entering my contest

    RedwingSpirit

  • bearl
    December 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I liked it alot!

    Very well written. Sad, but that's what was felt.


  • Eyez2cu
    December 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Here is your applause


  • Eyez2cu
    December 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This is one of the best poems I have ever read and I have read alot. Keep up the good work.

  • Goofypryo
    December 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    LOVE

    This absolutely wonderful work. I love everything about it, and the last lines are so totally right. Once again, wonderful....

    . Rewarded 4


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    December 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Exceptional writing in this piece. I loved the flow of your words..The picture was outstanding. You well deserved the trophies..
    Soulful Woman

    . Rewarded 4


  • ennovy silver member
    December 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Penned

    wonderful balance and rhyme..the flow of the read is smooth as warm sweet honey. You rocked this one...novy

    . Rewarded 4


  • leslielovesthomas
    November 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery! Great write! Thank you so much for entering and good luck!!

    Leslie

  • Rana
    November 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very good imagery. Your choice of words were great.
    Thank you for entering!

  • Nam
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "will I ever truely know?" - "truely" would be "truly". Other than that, I found nothing else wrong with the poem. A good interpretation of the painting.


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully written. loved the picture. thanks for sharing this.i liked this very much. thanks for entering my contest and best of luck. well written and a wonderful read. thanks again for entering. i hope to read more from you soon.

  • maa gold member
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a very beautiful poem of sadness and longing and deception ... masterfully crafted with great imagery that further enhances the emotional impact on the reader ... sweet and innocent ...
    thank you so much for your participation,

    maa


  • TaintedBeauty
    August 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!! This is very very very good!!! I really enjoyed it, and you did everything I asked. The pain captured in this one is so beautiful.
    "Say you love me, just one more time,
    whisper sweet lies in my ears.
    Help me believe it was all true,
    softy wipe away my tears."
    My favorite part by far, and a strong favorite already. Very nice.

  • Diatribes
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    An unfortunate journey....alnog a path I shall never take.
    Beautifully poetic writen heartache though.


  • vampireblood
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done. I liked the overall flow and rhyme of your poem. Love the picture you chose to. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~~~Vampy~~~

  • Pamela A Lamppa gold member
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My

    . . . this is such a moving verse. It left me in tears. A superb entry. Best wishes and best of luck in this contest, though I doubt you will need it. A pleasure to have read this tonight. ~Pamela


  • Tangled Angle
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was profound emotion and again, excellent rhyme.
    I can relate to this on a personal level- I'm sure a lot of people can too. And it's simplicity is what makes this gold.

  • Fallen forever silver member
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a strong piece
    I love the bit about loving a lies
    It was really interesting and beautiful
    In a sad, somber way
    The picture was beautiful
    You could almost feel the tears

  • Leaving Today
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    It's Awesome

    First stanza is too emotional and third stanza the strongest one. This poem is really awesome.

  • autumns rising
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "Hearts believe what logic rejects—

    they banish the web of lies.

    Let lost love slowly drift away—

    with susurrate cries."
    my dear you are brilliant. this is trully breathtaking and heeart breaking. my god this is wonderful good luck despite the fact u dont need it


  • PlasticPrecious
    April 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Murmur sincerities from the heart—
    your ambrosial deception.
    Tell me you have really changed—
    that I am your exception."

    yeah, so this was basically [wow]!!!

    i love the imagery you create,sister!!!
    great job!


  • lysdarling
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Hearts believe what logic rejects—

    they banish the web of lies"
    --these lines are so true. you've worded this beautifully , great piece
    xoxo
    --lys


  • FightOffYourDemons
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love that picture.
    I think that this poem has a great concept. It's so easy to believe what you want to when it comes to people you love. And it hurts so bad when they prove you wrong. I think you wrote a poem that people will find really easy to relate to. It's pretty amazing when you can do that.
    That being said I personally think that the flow of this poem is a bit awkward and choppy in some places. I really think that this is something you can fix if you just read it over again or maybe try to read it outloud.
    Other tahn the flow this poem is amazing.
    You really have talent.

    Thanks
    Nikki

  • Aurora Calliope
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    first off, great picture! As to the content of your poem, i guess my qualm would be that it is a little typical, and, though i've never seen a poem exactly like this, i've seen many that are very similar with very similar outtakes on lost love. I tend to enjoy a little bit more origional pieices. Other than this though, the poem was good with a steady rhythm and Rhyme and the thoughts within it clearly expressed. Good work and thanks for entering!

  • animated lies
    April 2, 2007

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    This is very beautiful and the rhythm is pretty much flawless. The rhyme adds even more to the greatness of it.
  • bluecollarlove
    March 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    This was definately my style of writing.I liked it very much.Thanks for entering.

  • John Timothy Bailer
    March 22, 2007

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    Hey i liked this poem alot. the rhyme scheme is right one. i expessially like the part where you say,"Tell me you have really changed—
    that I am your exception
    ". that is so true. i think weve all heard that one. i think you did a great job with it. thanks for sharing it. keep up the good work. tim aka childofthenight

  • Frodofan silver member
    March 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Aw. Wow. Perfect. Exactly what I wanted.

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