honey||baby||sweetheart
Can't you see what she's doing to you?
she's a hollywood whore.
Just wants a [[buck]]
not l.o.v.e.
You are so far in
over your own [[head]]
She's g.l.a.m.o.r
wrapped up in a
[[porcelain||tradgedy]]
Why can't you see that?
She's -x-candycoated -x- razorblades -x-
[[headlights]] on the busy //boulvard
She's a lethal [[glam]]
tripping you on vodka&&acid
You are her marionette.
You'll [[do whatever she says at a whim]]
she's a destructive w.h.o.r.e
she comes from [[brokendreams]]
and -x- toxicfantaies -x-
She's a beautiful mess of
[[injections.piercings.poison.]]
She's
b
a
d
n
e
w
s
[[but I guess bad news never tasted so good]]
A contest entry
- It's Black && White Baby by Exodus.
300 points, ended March 28, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
If this is one of your first writes in this style I must say it is exceptional. It flows wonderfully and your metaphors are fabulous! Personally I am not a fan of the centre allignment, but that's a personal taste thing. I think it's great that you use your full vocabulary when you wrote this.
The only thing you missed was that "boulvard" is speld "Boulevard" Other than that it was just luscious.
Thanks for entering, good luck and sorry I'm taking so long.
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