Holding this [r.r.razor] against my milk-white skin
I don’t really care if suicide’s a [sin]
I know I won’t go to heaven, for all the things I’ve done
My mind is always reeling, my sanity on the run
Bl♥♥d trickles down my *alabaster* arm
Didn’t you tell me I’d never come to HHAARRMM??
*Glitter*-plastered lips and shadowed eyes
My rage is boiling over, always on the ^ rise ^
NiN blares through the /walls/, pounding a b-b-beat
My heart follows the crescendo, time *tapped* with my feet
I smile as I slowly die[no lie], but no, not today
My mother flies through the door, to interrupt this auspicious day...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i loved every word of this poem, its awesome and every word brought it together awesomely, i love the style of writing you used in this poem and i look forward to reading more of your poems. Keep Penning
~Ashley~ -
I liked this because i can relate to it to an certain extent. I love the way you ended it. your writing style is ces't magnifique!
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you leave me speachless
simply amazing
<3
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omg i loved this it really leaves you thinking with the mom walking in i absolutley loved it!
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Awh! *huggles* Don't die on me! I'll have no one else's poems to drool all over.
Always and forver,
Annie
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It's always sad to know that someone would want to take their own life. I've been there before. I felt like life was getting worse more and more each day, but I hung in there and now things are starting to look alright. Beautifully sorrowful write!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~(your cool cousin)THe Rocker who lost all
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This was damn good your writing is out there and in your face well done !
.
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This poem is so tragic and well written, I'm sure many of us have attempted suicide, but I am glad you survived.
Luff ya
x x
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this is very good...very imaginative...good wordplay
love alwayz and foreva
~:~SK~:~
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It seemed that the poem wasn't finished...like it should have kept going on...I like the rhythim and the flow that is going on....This past weekend I almost commited suicide, so this poem hits a strong button in my life...I don't know if I would use a razor to do it ever, but aspirn seems to hit the spot....
Keep Writing!!
-Daniela-
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Wow
I have had similar experiances to the one you described above, so I know some what how your feeling, though my sis is the one who found me. Great job. Keep writing, and commenting.
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wow hectic... i could totally relate to this piece... and mind space this poem was written in.
i think you have expressed it well!!
great stuff!
xxx
divaT
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