-Perdie-
Orange flowers in a strange cafe
What are you and what have you become?
Figures pause behind you in a mirror
And the tables seem closer together,
by the time you reach your seat
the bruises are already coming up
black and yellow on your hips and knees.
And now a smile is inadequate
There is nothing of the gods in you
little enough even of the human,
to carry off this moment you need
to say the least, a performance.
Thank god you can act with flair.
Anyway you built with wood,
you roofed with straw in an arid land.
Once the candles are lit
It will end.
-Charna-
Orange flowers in a strange cafe
touched with pleasure by a
darker hand
than mine-
they faded
to a subtler color
His hair is going gray I think
Not that I mind,
but leaving wonder
was he touched or looked on
by the darker self.
Author notes
I may add to this, who knows
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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goddess of the pen
I suppose this is the part where I start off saying something like "From what I can perceive," or "I'm not sure if this is what you meant and I expect to be wrong but..." And I do, expect to be wrong that is, but I think Perdie is someone who has been in the public eye, perhaps admired greatly. Something has or is happening which is/will bring her shame, thus her putting on the theatrics to cover it up. Maybe trying to enjoy her remaining moments in the public's favor, before the "candles are lit" and her "bruises" shown. Even if I'm wrong I think that's a fairly interesting interpretation.
As for Charna, this bit was much harder for me, but if I had to guess I'd say it was someone looking on someone close/dear to them... perhaps the grey hair and darker self are that person struggling not become disillusioned as per their dramatic life experiences. I dunno, could also symbolize just a more experienced, worn, person.
Biggest part that threw me off was "Anyway you built with wood, your roofed with straw in an arid land."
So, given my (likely) incorrect interpretation I will say this: I liked the simplistic writing on the second character, but appreciated/related to more with the attributes of the first (in the way i interpreted what that person is going through). I personally think Perdie should be a bit more simplistic to match, the only way I feel contrasting lengths would be beneficial is if you had more than two characters.
I would also like to add that I feel slightly disconnected from the latest poems I've read of yours, as opposed to my usual feeling of hearing your voice etc, etc. Maybe it's because of everything that's been going on lately with myself, or maybe it's because nothing quite matches the blissful feeling I got reading your ridiculously long poem on war. Regardless, I think it speaks well for you that someone can still enjoy your writing even when they aren't in a reading mood (which I rarely am in).
One more poem left, and I'm all caught up.
BTW: I think you should add a third character. Name him Andy, and write about him being hopelessly confused and having poor interpretation skills, but at the same time being optimistic enough to try and read every single one of Inara Kate's published poems.
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