My Wet Friend
Young I flung myself upon
your wrinkledness
And sunk into your blue-green
silverness
to wallow both in glee
and fear
And everything you were
when near
was more immense than air
And more intruding then the care
my mother showed me when a child
Now you seem wild
And far
I fear
Far more hell bore
As I hear
Your voice orotund
from far beyond
that dam your shore...
though now you're gone
I love you
... more
and more
and more
Author notes
definition (because so many ask) of the word "orotund" - merriam-webster on line dictionary: 1 - marked by fullness, strength, and clarity of sound 2 - pompous, bombastic 3 - giving out or capable of giving out a sound, esp. a deep, resonant sound, as a thing or place (as an orotundous cavern)
Above picture taken at Okaloosa Island Beach FL on Gulf of Mexico - picture: copyright 2008 by D. Lindsey - all rights reserved
A contest entry
- A Friend to Treasure by BluRosePoet8488.
1000 points, ended November 3, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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The ocean's voice is an awesome sound-- friendly and frightening and awe-inspiring at the same time. You did a nice job combining those feelings here.
Thank you for entering. -
Very good images. I loved this thoughtful write. Thanks for entering.
My scores
How blue it was – 9/10
Diction – 9.9/10
Theme – 9.5/10
Presentation – 9/10
Creativity – 9.5/10
Total – 46.9/50
WOW...Good score!! All the best in the contest!!!
Love and regards
Kiddy
(Dr.Vee – Silent Judge)
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interesting you did very good
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THIS IS A VERY STRONG WRITE.i lliked it very much indeed
thanks for entering -
good work, amazing really.
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i reall loved the picture and the poem to go with it was amazing.. i dont know what the word just above beyond is.. orotund... ? but anyway great job and good luck
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Ah... the ocean... what a wild and wet friend it can be. I've never been to that side of Florida. Maybe next trip there? This poem evokes wonderful imagery and has a beautiful flow about it. A very unique poem. Thanks for entering. Keep the ink flowing and good luck!
~Donna~
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I like your imagery. Thanks for entering.
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Spoken of intensly
Yes the ocean does breath and rumbles and hisses as tough in pain but laced with a beeauty untouched by man
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a very nice poem thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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oooh very nice
very pretty
i liked it alot good luck -
another beautiful write full of memories as well as longing, the ocean hugged you like your mother's womb, I will have to refer to webster for the word orotund, I've never heard it. I too, love the ocean, and vacation on Hatterass Island in Avon from the end of Oct. - mid Nov., my husband enjoys drum fishing, and I just enjoy fishing, sunrises, sunsets and all this beautiful island has to offer. I love visiting Okracoke too, it has a romantic feel too it, as well as mysterious and historical as well. Thanks for sharing this beautiful write!
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The Sea can be such a mysterious place, both gentle and at times a powerful force in nature. I love your descriptive devices in this amazing write. What a thought provoking write. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
Theresa
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A nice poem about the sea. I loved your descriptions. Good imagery. You seemed both intrigued by her and fearful of her. The contrast of your admiration and dismay reminded me of an experience with a first love. Nature does that to us. Can you revisit her again, as you did when you were a child?
I learned a new word-
"orotund" -marked by fullness, strength, and clarity of sound (from the dictionary). Do you feel that there is that beyond her shore, just out of reach? Interesting feelings and ideas your poem arouses.
I appreciate your entry in the contest and good luck to you! -
yes. thank you. this is what i was looking for. i love your line breaks and your word usage (i, too, had to look up the word orotund). i'm really happy you entered! keep writing like this.
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Very beautiful. This calm feeling produced here is grasping and different but such tainted imagery.
Thanks for entering,
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. I can see from reading this poem that you also enjoy being near the sea, but you also understand how dangerous it can be. I actually had to look up the word orotund as I had never heard it used before. It is a great word to use as you have it really plays to the senses.
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It's always amazing how much our perceptions change when we mature. Some things we long for & wonder why they couldn't stay the same. Some things were the same all along, we just couldn't see them that way.
These are the thoughts your piece brought to my mind.
I've read it twice through (at least that's what I'll admit to) & honestly find it enigmatic. Several parts were just so well expressed such as this stanza:
"And everything you were...when near
was more immense than air...And more intruding then the care...my mother showed me when a child"
But then I seem to stumble over some other word choices such as "wallow" & "wrinkledness". So for me, this starts slow & uneven with me not able to fathom the direction. But then the middle & end are wonderful. Thank-you for sharing this. Blue -
This is a good piece.
Thanks for entering sweety.
x -
I may be wrong but it sure sounds like water to me...Playing, fishing etc.It flows real well and enjoyed the read...sure hope I got it right wouldnt want to affend
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thank you for your comment
Hi Tender Wolf - re your comment: you pretty much got it right. This poem is about the times when I was young and would go the beautiful beaches in the National Parks (80 miles long) along the coast on North Carolina's Outer Banks which is a thin strip of north to south land jutting way out into the Atlantic ocean (look at it on a map) that is bounded on the east by a huge sound and west by the raging Atlantic and composed of ultra wide endless shell filled magnificent beaches and humongous sand dunes and NO HOMES in sight for strips of 10 to 20 miles. It is about me, swimming in the ocean as a kid and a teenager and about my love and appreciation of the salty waters that engulfed me and the crashing sound of waves and the the feeling that I was in nature's womb, the same feeling we must have all felt and are unable to recall when we were in a womb, that perfect sanctuary that provided us with love nourishment and peace. It is about before I was born and about the ocean's waters being soulfully similar to my imaginated prenatal encasement environment. Hope that helps. Now I am going to read your poems. I hope that you will read more of mine and just let me know if you need any explanations. Thank you again Tender Wolf Walking. Bill Crump : billpoet - Allpoetry PS - I have something to send you: an amazing picture I took at Galicer National Park of a waterfall that when I was downloading it to my computer showed an image of a woman in the waterfall. It was a waterfall where a Indian woman took and where she cared for sick animals and she became a sacred legend for the Blackfoot (I think that was the nation) and the waterfall sited is sacred Indian grounds. It is amazing and I have a sequence of digital shots that lead up to it and after it where she vaguely appears and diminishes. I think you will appreciate it. My email is billpoet@msn.com and when you send me yours please put in the subject line: re Indian picture - Tender Wolf. That is so I will recognize and not delete as spam. Again - thanks.
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nice poem
of a sorrowful statement . has a good flow , short but has meaning , thanks for sharing. What is this refering to exactly
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Thanks for your comments
Hi Reddog Wolf - "of a sorrowful statement . has a good flow , short but has meaning , thanks for sharing. What is this refering to exactly" - this poem is about the times when I was young and would go the beautiful beaches in the National Parks (80 miles long) along the coast on North Carolina's Outer Banks which is a thin strip of norht to south land jutting way out into the Atlantic ocean (look at it on a map) that is bounded on the east by a huge sound and west by the raging Atlantic and composed of ultra wide endless shell filled magnificant beaches and hugmongous sand dunes and NO HOMES in sight for strips of 10 to 20 miles. It is about me, swimming in the ocean as a kid and a teenager and about my love and appreciation of the salty waters that engulfed me and the crashing sound of waves and the the feeling that I was in nature's womb, the same feeling we must have all felt and are unable to recall when we were in a womb, that perfect sanctuary that provided us with love nurishment and peace. It is about before I was born and about the ocean's waters being soulfully similar to my imaginated prenatal encasement enviorment. Hope that helps. Now I am going to read your poems. I hope that you will read more of mine and just let me know if you need any explanations. Thank you again, Bill Crump : billpoet - Allpoetry
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