The Worm and the Wren
“On a brighter day, come again,
it’s not a pretty day for sight”
The worm told to the wren
“It’s raining hard from cloud to ground
my home’s awash and all around
darkness, damp and gloom abound”
“Well little wormy soft and fat
exception I’ll take, if I might
up high with me it’s not like that
On my tongue nestled tight
against my beak at cloud top height
a view of pillowed clouds so white
for you will be a pure delight”
“Oh wren, I know you love to fly
through rain or sun throughout the sky
but your passenger should have an eye
Plump caterpillars you should try.”
“O juicy worm you just don’t know
so I must demonstrate and show
as along the way we go
how flying feeds a bird…s… ah? …ego”
“Oh Mr. Wren I do not fly
a pact we have the ground and I
I tunnel in it day and night
and it protects me from your sight”
“O tender wormy eloquent
on my deaf ears your words are spent
You will love to fly so come along
I’ll whistle you your first swan song
And wormy dear fear not flight
everything will work out right
I’ll even take you home with me
For dinner... with my family”
Author notes
A contest entry
- Easy quick contest-15 entries-fables by iamthebeatles.
600 points, ended July 25, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - quick easy and almost painless ( few entries = free points : ) by Jiyo.
450 points, ended August 22, 2007, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY SECOND CONTEST ON THE THEME ‘FAREWELL’. by karabi.
800 points, ended September 3, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why Not Be Different by wingsofgold25.
900 points, ended January 30, 2008, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Oh That Bird. by CountryCousin.
600 points, ended April 5, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Talking Animal Poems by Blossom Fairy.
650 points, ended June 7, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME SOMTHIN TO LAUGH AT!!!!!!!!!!! by CowboyFan1.
500 points, ended July 28, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You??? by 2lullabyhaven.
550 points, ended July 17, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything & Everything Old or New by piccola.
600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Worm Song. by Nostalgic Moon.
700 points, ended September 13, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Personification ! Come One ! Come All ! by Anu-Nataraj.
450 points, ended October 20, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Persona! by chordphrute.
600 points, ended October 13, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your 'Gold' Is All The Rage by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended November 5, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wild Animal Poems by Paloszoo.
900 points, ended January 2, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh by Lisa..
700 points, ended January 17, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Light and Humor For Chistopher by mysticstorm.
700 points, ended January 19, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - # 166 Winklings & Allpoetry: Parable Poems. by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended March 25, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Galore! You Chose the Prompt! by poet360.
1221 points, ended March 8, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #172 Winklings for Winklers and AP friends by Lyndon.
1950 points, ended April 23, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Animal Poems by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended May 14, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For The Birds by Mercury Rising.
700 points, ended June 17, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - He Said, She Said by baghdaelf.
700 points, ended June 22, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES BUT YOU MUST MAKE ME LAUGH by Juno101.
460 points, ended November 20, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 89 of 89
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its certainly a nice story and if this contest was about animals or nice little tales then this would be a great candidate but I didn't find this funny. I don't know if the last line was suppose to get my funny bone but it was predictable. Reading the first two stanzas I thought this poem would end with something about dinner obviously meaning BIRD
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I have a similar pact with the ground. I don't leave it more than four or five feet at a time and it doesn't hit me when I return. 
This was a charming little tale and I truly enjoyed it. My toddler cojudge didn't quite grasp some of the sentences due to their passive structure and/or old english style, though. I think if he were a couple years older he might have gotten more out of it.
Thank you for entering!
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this is a fantastic piece. although I need you to put the actual title "the bird and the worm" in your author notes as well as it as your title. this is the rules, and i am sorry for that. but in order for me to judge fairly i need it to be done, even if you change the title back to its original when the contest is over I still need the title changed and in the author notes for this contest. thanks so much for entering and I do hope u in fact change it. best of luck to you in the future and with your writing
andi
(redhanded) -
Fantastic. I love it. Well done.
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a view of pillowed clouds so white
for you will be a pure delight
beautiful! a storyish humor poem. i love it, but im afraid i must dq it if you do not include your name and prompt in the AN. this is a pw, so you must enter three freshwrites in the contest before it ends. or else the lovely poem will be dqed. sorry, its one pw per three fresh writes.
thanks,
clair
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This made me smile, phenomenal job. Thank you so much for entering.
xoxo. -
ah this totally made me smile! i loved reading it! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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lol nice! i loved this piece!! it was hilarious! ;D keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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lol! Very cute! I can just see this discussion going on. Thank you for entering. Good luck!
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Really liked the style of this, the dialogue was a refreshing way to tell a story whilst explaining the characters through its progress
“O juicy worm you just don’t know
so I must demonstrate and show
as along the way we go
how flying feeds a bird…s… ah? …ego”
~ Love the sneakiness of the bird xD
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
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My goodness, I've never seen so mant trophies below a poem before. A really excellent piece, that is like an avian/worm version of Marlowe's 'Shepherd to His Love' and the subsequent 'Her Reply'. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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haha this brought a smile to my face and a giggle to my lips.
it was brillliant. thanks for entering and keep it up
kmp -
aww i liked that... such a good poem but true in nature
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This was quite an interesting story about the wren and the worm and one which held a fable with a very strong moral behind it. Very well written and kept my interest to the end. Thank you so much for entering the contest.
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This is a cool poem. The worm don't know he is fixin' to be the Wern's dinner until the end. Thought he was safe. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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I can see why this wonderful poem has won so many trophys. Be sure to read the contest rules and edit your author notes before final judging.
Love,
Amera♥
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this is very cute, i love how the wren and worm are talking each other..
sad ending... nice work.. it could have been darker.. but still good job
good luck in the contest -
reminds me of an old Aesop Fable but I can't remember which one. Someone needs a ride to the other side of the river and trusting the ride causes him to get gobbled up midway ...
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What a working-out this poem has had
and yet it fits the bill.
The duologue is highly entertaining, espercially when read to children.
I have already commented on this poem. Still, thank you for erntering. Lyndon of the Winbklings.
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Humorous story telling, the worm never had a chance, love the ending. Blessings.
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This I really enjoyed. Didn't seem too trying, hit the punchline quite nicely, was humorous but not too humorous. Good story, all in all.
-Nam -
this is quite good thanks for the entry
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hee hee
Very cute and imaginative. Good luck in the contest. Cyber.....
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hehehe poor li'l worm, will he escape the clutches of this dasterdly bird?
Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing indeed!
Wonderfully penned. Thank you for joining us, best wishes!
many blessings, Sandi
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Yes, your fabulist's humour
has reaped rewards for you, I see.
Tennyson said that nature is "red in tooth and claw". You have shown that nature beguiles and we should never, never trust a predator!
Well done and the best of wishes.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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wow this is really fantastic! i love it!
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cute, hehehe
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this was cute. thanks for entering and good job with all the wins youve recieved with this piece!
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this is a very funny write, thank you for entering i am sure it will give much laughter to many, poor little wormie i do hope he enjoys his *dinner date*
not quite to my taste although i am not a vegitarian i do try to draw the line at things that wriggle as i try to eat it
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What a wonderful piece. Thankyou for entering.
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ok. now that you've explained it, i can definitely see it. i'm glad i asked you to interpret it. lol. great job! good concept!
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this is a very good poem. the rhythm and rhyme are offbeat in sorts, but it works out well.
could you please explain to me what made you enter this into my contest (just trying to follow your thinking pattern) because i can't quite see it.
all you have to do is tell me how it works with Falling, and it'll be all good. thanks. -
Lovely flow and a strong moral it holds...very cute and well written...I am sure he will love it...
Thank you so much for sharing.
Love,
mystic
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wow its raly hahahaha funny keep up the good work and good luck on my contest
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Wow, such a wonderful write. Worthy of so many trophies, indeed! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here!
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“Oh Mr. Wren I do not fly
a pact we have the ground and I
I tunnel in it day and night
and it protects me from your sight”
Awitty write to say the least, and worthy of the trophies accumulated by its magnificence.
thank you and good luck!
Ocean
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Ha ha!! Loved this write.
Very well done.
Congrats on all the awards, well deserved.
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This is a very intresting poem. Nice work!
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This is a very good poem, the flow you've captured hear is simply stellar!
It's a bit longer than what I was looking for but thank you for entering!
Leander -
This is a great piece, but you didn't put in your authors notes what it was a parody of or what the satirical nature of it was. If you add that it's lovely.
Best of luck to you. -
Oh the sweet taste of deception, you've done it justice with this piece lol and thanks for your entry.
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this is my secnod contest uve entered.....
=D
i luv this poeemmm to bits!!!
good cluck! =P
Anagha-Natara -
Thank you for your entry...
Please do not respond in any way to this message until the judging is complete. Thank you.
Awww...poor little worm.
Okay, there are a couple of things I'd like to say about this poem. Firstly, it's a cute tale with a nice exchange of dialogue between your characters. However, I found the language slightly stilted to achieve the rhyme, which is a shame.
This is how you scored:
Laugh-o-meter: 6/10
Spelling/grammar: 7/10 (Punctuation is a bit sketchy in places!)
Flow: 7/10
Rhyme (if applicable): 7.5/10 ~ An eclectic mix of rhyme schemes here!
Total score: 27.5/40
Many thanks for taking the time to enter this contest, and best of luck!
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Very silly!
Good luck in the contest!
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how flying feeds a bird…s… ah? …ego”
HAHAHA!!!!
lovely work dear poet.....loved it .....amazingly written personification !!!!
Good Luck In The Contest!!!!!!
much love
Anagha-Nataraj
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fab tale ya ave told with dis one
can see that chat and listen in
thanx 4 yr grt entry and gd luck to ya
cheers
abe
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very beautiful my dear very beautiful
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Very charming and a totally different view than mine. Yours is based on nature and used to illustrate human emotions. Mine is based on my real experience as a child, though I never did eat the worm.
I like the line: "I'll whistle you your first swan song."
Congratulations on the gold in the worm song contest.
~ Joyce
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hahaha! oh my gosh this is the most hilarious thing ever!!! i love it so much! hehe thanks for entering!
if you have friends on here who might be interested you should convince them to join!
thanks for entering!
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lol, thats really cool!!! Very well done!!!
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This is very cute! Thanks for the entry!
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omg, this one really is funny! Tihi, sounds like a children rhyme, I always love those, if they have a twist of adult stuff
Thanks for entering. -
silver, bronze and hms. I guess you are still entering this in contests. Well, it is very good. I like the rhyme which you managed well and told a great story as well. I guess she was an early bird, eh? who always gets her worm...
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Thank you for this lovely tale, it was full of images that made me smile.
Thanks to Jade for running this contest, the idea to make me smile and it worked after reading all the entries.
Love
Sue
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Good
Very good and very clever
Good luck in the contest -
Interesting write, we all have to watch out for the birds waiting to swoop on us Thanks
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Absolutely adorable. None of the rhymes sounded forced, no grammar errors, and a great read. Thank you for entering. [= Good luck. I enjoyed reading this.
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This is a delight and deserving of all the trophies that bedeck its chest. I love poems that use creatures in nature and personalize them. very nicely done.
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Poetically captured and thanks for this entry lol
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It's definitely an interesting peace.
The thing I really like about this poem, is that it's different than what I expected. I doesn't out right say that a "worm" is fooolish for trusting a "bird" rather it leaves the reader to imply.
I like the fable type writing style, talking animals delivering a life message or moral to the reader. I'm to assume that this is an option 2 entry, being as you didn't put it in the author notes, but that's all right, you followed the rules and went way beyond what the prompt suggested.
I can metaphorically compare this to a "friendship", or encounter. The "bird's" intentions are quite obvious, and yet the "worm" doesn't see the obvious signs. I see quite a large percent of human kind reflected in this poem, so quick to give trust away only to be metaphorically eaten alive.
You're strongest ally is that there obviously was a lot of thought placed in to this, or you were able to parallel the deeper meaning of this poem to my contest. It's not something that someone just sits there and reads, with the meaning right in front of them. I love poetry with deeper meanings.
GOOD LUCK. -
that is one reason i don't want to be a worm
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Wow must i comment this again great poem thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly -
I need to stop reading your poems. JK. Theey make me feel like a crappy poet who can not write anything. Not fair.
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Very creative insights as to how such a conversation might evolve! I much enjoyed "flying feeds a bird...s...ah? ...ego" and "I'll even take you home with me for dinner...with my family!"
Lovely turn of phrase, "a pact we have, the ground and I." Nicely rhymed. Thank you for your entry! -
Wow this is great
very well written
thanks for entering my contest
Wow you are first person in my contest
that said i like dogs
i wish you the best of luck
for you
xxx--<3--
Shelly -
Thank you for the big smile! What a delight... so much fun in this adventure into the storybook.
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ROTFL!I liked this one.Thanks for entering!Good luck!~
signed confused
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Wonderful
I enjoyed reading this, a few parts didn't flow as well as the rest but it was delightful just the same ^_^
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I like it.
Oh that little bird, would a bird decieve? You betcha. I once drank a few beers and tried out a plastic worm to see if it would fool a bird. Darn robin tried for hours to get the worm from under a rock. I finally gave him real worm for his trouble. But the lure worked good on the fish too.
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this is great!such a sweet story.this would fit so perfectly in a childrens book.very creative with a perfect rhyme and flow.awesome write.the trophies are well deserved!
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Ha ha! This is really cute! I loved it...but it had absolutely nothing to do with the contest I posted. Please reply to me saying how it connects or I will have to remove you. Cute, but not for this contest
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ohhh i love this! really really, i could read it three times over!
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Cute
I like this wormy little rhyme. Thank you for sharing and entering my contest. Good luck.
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Very beautiful!!! and so creative!!
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a fantastic write thankyou for entering my contest and good luck
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Excellent write
Very well writen
Impressive
Thanks for entering my contest
&
The Best Of luck
Jaz <3 -
this is a fun poem
My favorite line:
I’ll whistle you your first swan song
Thanks for entering, James -
Delightful in a weird sense - your poetry is always fluent and formed creativity - the meanings and uniqueness is always interesting.
Thanks for entering,
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lol The most unique take I've seen on this prompt, to be sure. I do like it though, and I applaud you for having the courage to be different. Nicely done; quite enjoyable, indeed.
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This is a realy good write, I enjoyed reading it very much. I finally felt sorry for the worm.
But hey Birds have to eat too.
Back to the poem you did an excellent job with your rhyme scheme. I love good rhyming poetry. Thanks for entering my contest and good Luck. -
Well this is very talented, very much worth all the tropies won, cglad I stopped by this little piece of talent, great job!
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l.o.l!
It would be hard to not like this piece!
it has a very interesting story, it's funny, rhyme is on point ,and the flow is great! so I guess what I'm saying is I don't like this piece...I LOVE IT!
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This is the 7th contest you have entered this one in! Well done! Keep up the good work! Best wishes! Edna.
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This to me is excellent,I love the story, the scenic poetry that it painted,thank you for your entry and good luck in our contest..MM
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Aww! Poor Wormy!
Love your poem! Fantastic Job! Thanks for entering! I feel bad that the worm still dosen't make it in the end, but hey, that's life! Good Luck!
Luv ya oodles!
Courtney -
wicked you know wicked WICKED
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I love the idea of giving the birds personalities and letting them talk throughout your write. Such wonderful imagery and flow. Good luck in the contest
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ah, talking birds, a poem of two animals you would not expect to see talking, personification, nice, thank you for this entry
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cute poem you have written here. it is a wonderful addition to my contest. Good luck!!
*peace*
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