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Hurry Sundown

Sunset falls in painted colors
Gracefully behind the trees
Peaking through the swaying branches
As they dance within the breeze
Casting shadows on the grass
Where two lovers lie in wait
Impatiently for the darkness
Hurry sundown, don't be late



Eagerly they watch in silence
Clouds roll slowly 'cross the skies
So soon now the day will vanish
And the glow within their eyes
Will be all the light they need
Crickets sing their serenades
Harmonizing with the song
Of love they hear as daylight fades



Closer now, horizon's lips
Drink the last of mother sun
Hearts and hands begin to tremble
So soon now will have begun
Heaven on a hidden field
Where two lovers lie in wait
Impatiently for the darkness
Hurry sundown, don't be late

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • whos my humblepie
    July 20, 2008

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    this is a lovely poem, I enjoyed reading it.
    But is rakerman at the bottum a part of the poem or is it your name?

    finalist


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING!!! I love this!!! Impatient young hearts. No erotica. And a picture painted by words that creates a thousand images... Thank you for your lovely entry!
    Becks


  • JohnnyD gold member
    November 8, 2007

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    hoodwinked~!!!!

    Anticipation...trepidation..anxiety of lust and love..all very well described in this beautiful write, VERY nice indeed.

    hunger for darkness,taste the delicacies of temptation ~ withheld.

    Len and Diana

  • piccola silver member
    March 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is prettiful. the background and everything is perfect, as is your rhyme. Flawless as always, with that dream-like quality.


  • panegyric ink
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    man, this is great!!!!

    possibly the best rhyme and meter i have read all month!!!!!!!!! overall, i really do not have a favourite stanza, ever one of these are my favourite!!!

    but if i had to choose...

    eagerly they watch in silence
    clouds roll slowly 'cross the skies
    so soon now the day will vanish
    and the glow within their eyes
    will be the light they need
    crickets sing their serenades
    harmonizing with the song
    of love they hear as daylight fades

    Genuinely Perfect!!!!

    Take care,
    brian.


  • Sandygram silver member
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing Poem

    Hello, Wow this was a wondrful poem. Everything about it was great. Beautiful imagery, great flow, great rhyme and was such a pleasure to read. Thasnk you for sharing with us. You are very talented. Blessings to you. You take care, Sandy


  • pen-inhand
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful flow, vivid imagery. Makes me want Spring to arrive even more now. Love in the outdoors, nothing like it! Well written work! Kelly


  • MercyMe
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Vivid

    Beautiful.  Soul inspiring.

    You created a wonderful image through

    your words.  I am there.

    Peace/Mia

1 - 8 of 8