This world was calm and beautiful
until man brought confusion,
then replaced the truth of life
with civilized illusion,
now even nature is to man
considered an intrusion,
yet men who go to fight a war
still pray for absolution,
now man's progressed at such a rate
they've got perfect pollution.
While looking down upon the world
with sad faced disillusion,
I wonder if it isn't time
to bring it to conclusion.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt by Pollycheck.
425 points, ended October 28, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want some points? Philosophy, God, whatever you want... by magneticblue.
1400 points, ended July 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something About God by reckless abandon.
700 points, ended January 1, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really liked reading this one. The flow was amazing and I always love rhyming. Great job and thanks for sharing!
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Interesting. Each line is concise and makes a point that supports the whole, rather than you just stringing something that rhymes together for the sake of rhyming. I especially liked the conclusion, but I wonder if you fully agree with what you have written. To be sure the human race is greedy and evil, we are destroying our world, but does that mean its time for it all to end? A though provoking piece, thank you for entering it in my contest and good luck.
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. This is a good poem and a sad commentary on society today. It makes me wonder if we will ever learn from our mistakes before it is too late.
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I love your stuff, it always makes me think! Yet again, you have penned an interesting piece that makes us consider the error of our ways. The sentiment you express in this piece is so very true.....we really have done our best to destroy this planet and all on it. Its a shame that as a whole, the human race just doenst seem to care.
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Mmmmm ..... thinks ??
But maybe God has already bestowed upon us his will and so, to that end, WE are all part of his own exclusive agenda in the great scheme of things, EVERYTHING is going COMPLETELY to plan as far as he's concerned anyway .. I can't imagine that disillusion is a concept he's even considered ... He has left that emotion for US to deal with surely, along with all the other many human traits and emotions ... It seems to me that all the negatives and positives in the world are his way of making us FEEL something and that there is possibly a point to it all ... Why would he make it easy for us ? If HE'S written the script he already KNOWS where this life of ours is going to take us ... WHY he actually decided to kick it all off in the first place is maybe another question entirely .....
Anyway, very interesting poem !
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Excellent write you have here!! It holds heqartfelt truth within its own wonders. I enjoyed this very much.
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Yes, it's hard to be optimistic at times. Where some believe in a God, I prefer to think that Nature has the upper hand. From time to time she hits us with a heavy hand. We pay, one way or another, for our stupidity. We may wage war on neighbours, but Nature can be totally devastating withing just a few minutes. She will always win.
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