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Name It Your Own

Your lies, eyes, feed the bliss in my decapitated mind
tears, drenched weak, sorrows filled emptiness...
My soul no longer feels the excruciating pain.

The promise, spring, tide so long forgotten...
speak, scream, whine the burdens of this world
So long to this golden age of ruin.

Mock the words for which I speak
truth lost by the agonies of defeat
In the wake of hope there lies my
integrity and me...

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • JustFallingApart
    November 10
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    I like this. The flow was great and so the usage of words nice write, and I hope all is well


  • Dbn- 72-
    October 5, 2007
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    that poem is really good...good useage of words.


  • Of Blood and Tears
    April 6, 2007
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    I like it. It speaks wonders to my mind.
    Unfaithfully Your's
    Of Blood and Tears


  • BabyBun silver member
    March 23, 2007

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    I like the title and I think it is a strong poem which one wants to read over and over as there is something different each time. Great writing x


  • ILTL4eva7
    March 22, 2007

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    ooo, very cool. I like the words separated by commas - it gives the piece a choppy feel, but in a realistic way... like the emotion is so much that you can't get a full, flowing sentence. I think the ending is especially nice - it's a strong statement that shows you aren't just another emo boy. :-P Great job, boy-o, keep it up!
    ~Kelsey


    • UnderTheRadiantSky
      March 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thankee kels, kidd-o hehe i appreciate your warm comments. i'll get back at your works too one of these days. i owe you a lot hihi. the emo boy is now under the radiant skies haha


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 22, 2007

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    "Your lies, eyes feed the bliss in my decapitated mind " That is such a interesting line that draws the reader in to finish the rest which is not dissappointing..I enjoyed this very nuch


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    March 21, 2007
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    Excellent..So much emotion in every line...
    Bravo


  • Wolfdog silver member
    March 21, 2007

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    Superb/Inspirational/Challenging

    Aye, there is indeed always hope within the integrity of oneself; even in the midst of problems, one can seek the courage that comes only from inside oneself and within the framework of Universal Mind. Very well written, with excellant imagery, painting a picture of what many of us feel as we go thru life regardless of age or experience. Extremely well done indeed.

1 - 12 of 12