As the sun's lament began again,
The goddess moon rose from her grave,
Shrouded by the tainted darkness of her shadowed half,
She rose up to fight, her intentions brave.
As the dark side rose against the light,
The goddess prepared for the plight,
As the light poured out against nightshade,
The war had begun and played
Itself out into a million bitter tears.
As her fist collided with her own face,
There was no shock in the soundless space,
As she threw herself end over end,
All she felt was a bitter wind.
The fight continues on and on,
Throughout the years and eons,
As she enters each new phase,
The dark side less and less shows her face.
Finally, within a month she had won,
She was set, full in the sky as one,
And as the shadow crept round once more,
She knew, eventually, she would win the war.
A contest entry
- She's a Goddess... by Dorick.
450 points, ended July 30, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE - WRITES WITHOUT TROPHIES ONLY by lindaburns.
1750 points, ended July 28, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Judge:
You have some inconsistencies here that bother me some. Maybe you could explain it to me. “the fight continues throughout the years and eons” but “finally within a month she had won” then, “she knew, eventually, she would win”. It’s probably something simple and I am having a senior moment. Just explain, please.

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I liked it good job!



