The harsh amber light shines brightly through the gossamer curtains
My eyes accosted with its pulsating-ferocity
BOOM! Goes the cannon right outside my bedroom window
I am in a war; my bedroom is a prison cell
Thin curtains fashioned from plastic sheets to shield us from radiation
My cellmate cringes in the corner
A thirty year-old man crying for his mother
He is afraid…
We are all afraid…
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is an awesome write i loved
I am in a war; my bedroom is a prison cell
Thin curtains fashioned from plastic sheets to shield us from radiation
My cellmate cringes in the corner
A thirty year-old man crying for his mother
He is afraid…
We are all afraid…
that was my favorite part, i just loved the emotion in it, i thought that the title suited it very well i encourage you to keep writing!!!!!
~Ashley~ -
this is amazing. really deep.
My cellmate cringes in the corner
A thirty year-old man crying for his mother
He is afraid…
We are all afraid…
this is my favourite bit
you have wonderous skills when it comes to imagery
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enjoyed this. good read.
i like this. the fear is very present here. i was able to totally visualize it. i liked the 'plastic sheet'. a raw quality. this packs quite a punch in just a few lines. well done! -
This is a really powerful write, and it's amazing. I love it! Great job.
<3xx. Julie. -
This was a deep write you penned it so well
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OHHHHHHH THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!
HUN THIS IS SO PWERFUL
and the imagrey is like WOW
I L♥O♥V♥E IT!!!
You are an amazing poet doll face!!!!
and this just knocked me off my feet =P
I see you added me to your AP family luvv♥
I am so adding you to mine baby face, what would you like to be?? unless you want me to make it up =P
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awww! i dont really understand it. i mean i do, but not sure if its right lol. but love your last line
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