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friends

Missing image

me,
i don't know what plant I am,
but perhaps I like the idea of being a

Sequoia Purple Iris.


or maybe not a plant at all,
but a kind, bright cloud that slowly empties itself
to luminously moisten flowers

upon their beds.


or

maybe I want to be a silver lake surface that

kisses the sky with
deep margins of Aurora & moonlit cottons...


or maybe something impossible to forget,
like one petite wave tickling someone's toes

on a sun-soaked,

secluded shore.


but whatever i am,
i hope i am that and this of you;
the deeper part of a warm grin,

 forever caught in the moment.

 

 or maybe,
i just want to be your friend.

Author notes

:-) Anonymous contest, please don't say my name. Thanks!

Nothing is capped in this poem on purpose for two reasons:

1) If friend is not capped, then i should not be capped. I am not more important than my friend. If I cap "Friend", then it is also a form problem. Substance is more important than form.

2) ee cummings is my favorite poet and he didn't cap.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • mad hattie
    August 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww! I really enjoyed how this started off, bursting with the poetry of Nature (so well wedded and shown to be one, as I like to think the Divine is in Nature, and we are all included), leading up to a simple beauty of a declaration of friendship. Very sweet.

    Peace
    Justine


  • Wind 03
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    amazing! liked it very muchhh...

    but whatever i am,
    i hope i am that and this of you;
    the deeper part of a warm grin, forever caught in the moment.
    or maybe,
    i just want to be your friend.

    I loved how you ended it

  • Kay Laon Anders
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    The imagery in this is so strong I can almost taste it...I have many people who call me their friend ..but only a few that truely know what I am about...this is a great write indeed...

    KAY


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant! Standing in applause

    I loved this Timothy. These lines:

    "or maybe I want to be a lake surface that kisses the sky with
    deep margins of Aurora & moonlit cottons..."

    OH they just moved me right over the edge. Wonderful vivid imagery and so very dear. Beautiful work. One of your best pieces, I'd say. ~Pamela


  • MissStranger
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BRILLAINT

    this poem caught my eye and I confess I'm so pleasently surprised by its unique magic!the picture is splendid yet it would seem quite ordinary without these wonderful lines to complete it!the techniques(though who would dare to critique such matters when the message is so artfuly penned) are faultless!
    "on a sun-soaked, secluded shore"...beuatiful alliteration revealing a memorable image so vivid and intense!well done indeed!good luck in the contest!


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the imagery and yet the innocense of youth and dreams within this write. Its a taste of days when all seems simple to me.


  • Hulali
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this poem is beautiful, and it has definitely comforted me. Thanks, especially for the last line. I need friends right now. (who doesn't, at any time, really)

    Line 4: I think there's a typo at "shy," should be sky?
    Line 5: I think the image would be more powerful if it were specific, instead of just "some...shore"
    Line 6: I think the comma after "that" would be better as a semicolon.

    thanks for the entry.


  • Redstormy gold member
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I love the last line the most especially these words
    "the inner part of a warm grin"

    Red


  • cherche -d -ame
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is so beautiful. If we can touch someone or something in the way that all of those things do , we are a part of them [universal connection]we become 'it" and the smile it leaves behind...and I do think of you as "a friend"Best wishes in this contest.....and I needed this little write this morning thank you
    much love
    reenie


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    .


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely wonderful. I wish you all the best for the contest. Its so great for this contest, beautiful and comforting. Wonderful write.

1 - 12 of 12