You池e so young
A beautiful sight to see
I wanted so much
For you to come with me
You told me your story
Which is so sad and true
All I ever wanted
Was to hold on to you.
I知 just an old man
Giving out advice
I知 just a few steps
Away from paradise.
I held you when you cried
I was with you when you laughed
I kissed you with my love
I hugged you when you crashed
You made me feel young again
My heart beat anew
My mind drifted in a daze
My body rejoiced and flew.
I知 just an old man
Giving out advice
I知 just a few steps
Away from paradise.
But off you have gone
You致e left me here alone
The world awaits you
To open arms you roam
A piece of my heart
Has a giant empty space
For love once again escaped
Left me sitting in this place.
I知 just an old man
Giving out advice
I知 just a few steps
Away from paradise.
Author notes
To all the loves I have failed, this is for you
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
HOW SAD AND LONELY THIS POEM LEFT ME FEELING. TO GIVE LOVE AND COMFORT TO SOMEONE AND THEY ARE TO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND IT ALL. SOUNDS MORE LIKE THEY HAD FAILED YOU INSTEAD OF YOU FAILING THEM. VERY WELL WRITTEN AND EXPRESSED.
-
-
Thank you for the very kind words on this write. I really do appreciate it.
-
-
Oh this is amazing! I can relate to this in certain ways.
it's a splendid piece even though it's sad poem I it made me smile because I enjoyed it so much. It's excellnt but then again you've been on my fav's list for quite some tine now for a reason all your work is stunning.
-
-
Thank you very much for your kind words and for reading my poem, I'm glad you enjoyed. I really appreciate it.
-
-
I believe that with some chords and notes and a drum
loop this would make a great song.
Has that upbeat rythmn and rhyme that creates its
own 'bop'.
Great poetry. You have my stamp of approval, without a doubt...
Jeffro
-
-
Thanks Jeffro for reading and the kind words. Really appreciate it.
-
-
Wow
This was very beautiful and sad Charley. It even felt like you were writing it about me. Ofcourse it could be to many people. It was very heart breaking and I nearly cried as I read it. I love you very much.
Guin
-
-
Thanks Guin, yea you could relate it to you but it is about many others also. I love you too. Thanks for reading and commenting.
-
-
Aw, this seemed quite sad. This makes me think of how some people may give people all their heart and try to treat people as best as they can only to get rejection and loneliness in return. This poem had a nice flow to it. Good luck with finding paradise. Keep writing.
-
-
Thanks Arzab for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
