Because I couldn't bleach the white away,
I dyed-
this emptiness with the essence of my pain.
Carmine-
screams ricochet
off deafening silence;
to bleed through Jaded tones
of his cruel intentions.
He breathed me in-
and held me down
in his captivation.
I was strangely content,
with my coherence as his possession.
Astute fingertips knocked at my composure,
paralyzing the catapulting pulsations
of my heart(in overdrive).
He was the epitome of perfection-
eyes parallel to Saturn;
and with one glance, my dreams revolved
stringing the stars across the dusty sky.
But in the elapse of night,
he tip toed out;
the back-door of my dreams.
I awoke- pulling tight, resistant eyes;
sore with the realization
of what opening them would bring.
Dragging emotions down raw flesh,
the blaring sun clicked scorning rays-
disappointed in my foolishness.
His promises were nothing short of hackneyed
yet I believed still; that I held forever
at the bend of my palm.
I was so sure that I knew him
as he tugged at my nexus,
through the stones of his pellucid gaze-
but they were only waiting to grow cold-
worn (underneath) his sleeve.
He stained me;
so I wash myself
of his chemical touch......
Author notes
Whispered Devotions
A contest entry
- Not For The Faint Of Heart by deadcolor dreams.
600 points, ended April 2, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This Heart ♥ It Beats. Beats For ONLY You. by forbidden-colour.
700 points, ended July 7, 2007, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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very nice job. flowed well and had imaginative imagery. a breath of fresh air.
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"He breathed me in-
and held me down"
Awh hun, wonderful write.
Finalist babe.
Sophie.x.
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:'(
I used to comment on pieces like this saying, "I can't really relate, but I can feel the emotion." Now the line goes, "I can completley relate. What more can I say?"
I think it really got good as it came towards the ending.
This simple line just stuck out to me, "I was so sure that I knew him." It just sounded like my own thoughts.
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This was very wicked and a good job on expressing your feelings. The best of luck to you in the contest!
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dang, i mean i can't even think of what to say about this, i mean that keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Here is another WOW entry.
To the top three for this one...
Title suggestion: Basilisk
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Really? Wow, I know it might be stupid but that excites me. I wasnt sure but I worked on this one and hoped it would make an impact. That is a wonderful title suggestion, to kill by breath or look...
I knew you'd have a unique title.
Amy -
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I can't guarantee it will stay in the top three, but for now, there it is. Glad you liked my title. ha ha
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no that you can not. you never know what someone may enter and there seems to be an endless amount of mind blowing poets on here. I am happy to know you liked it none the less.
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I wasn't supposed to know it iwas you. but oh well. It doesn't affect my judging anyway.
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shit!
I am so bad at this secret judging thing. I know it does not effect your judging but I still feel bad for that. I'm forgetful so if you want you can remind me in the next contest in your comment or something and I will not reply until after the contest.
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