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Cut

Images dancing through my mind
Of a sharp object, like a knife
Thoughts running around
Thinking of how it will feel

Dreaming of the relief of emotional pain

When the blade crosses my skin
Wondering if this time I will cut
The decision has been made
The knife is slowly penetrating my skin
Digging deeper and deeper
Watching the blood run out
Feeling the temporary relief of my emotional pain
Admiring the cut, that soon will be a scar
A representation of the control I have
Regret now is starting to set in

Causing me to hide the scars

The ones that when they were only cuts

I was so proud of

This is now led me to
Wonder why I still choose to cut!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • FaeRae gold member
    April 28, 2007
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    So sad and beautiful at the same time

    I want to thank you for penning the first poem about cutting that really helped me to understand it. I've read dozens, but I still just didn't get it. Now I see; cutting is a bit like an eating disorder, isn't it? When I am depressed, or when my life is spinning out of control, I don't eat. I just don't. And though it's painful, and though everyone tells me to stop - ah, for a brief few hours I feel like I am in control of Me. So, I finally get it. Cutters and Anorexics are Twin Souls; we just choose to exercise our contol through different mediumd. Kudos to you for penning something so deeply emotional that also helped others to understand.

    Good luck & stay strong!!

    ***Rae***


    • ThankfulSoul
      April 28, 2007
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      I am glad this has helped you understand. Yes it is similar to eating disorders, many cutter have eating disorders too. I don't have one directly, but have issues with food and the way I loook. Control really is a key for both cutter and anorexics, somewhere in life we have lost some control and we are trying to get it back. Thanks for reading and commenting. Take Care!


  • juliex-exotic shine
    April 28, 2007

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    I loved this poem, and had to read over and over again. I can relate so well to this poem being that I too still suffer with cutting. Your choice of words are great, and it is very powerful. The lines
    "Admiring the cut, that soon will be a scar
    A representation of the control I have
    Regret now is starting to set in
    Causing me to hide the scars"
    really jumped out to me from the beginning. I loved it. Thank you for entering, and good luck!


  • Tseng Yu Nung
    April 15, 2007

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    Interesting

    I like how it was more of a contemplation about the subject of cutting rather than just the act itself. The one suggestion I have would to be change the line "Dreaming of the relief of emotional pain" and taking out one of the ofs. My favorite part of the poem was the metaphor of a scar as "a representation of... control." Keep it up!


  • -Tears Of Pain-
    March 30, 2007

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    I feel the same way. I hide my scars as well because of them I'am ashamed. But this poem really had hurt and wondering behind it. I could feel what you were feeling through your words.
    Great job!
    Good luck in the contest.
    ~Sara~


  • Bruised.Roses
    March 26, 2007

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    I understand this...but have to say....you should never regret it....it is something you needed to do to survive...it's nothing to be shamed over.....and if you are trying to recover all the better...but never allow someone to belittle you because of this and most importantly don't belittle yourself...you are strong!


  • technicolour reject
    March 23, 2007
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    i know how that feels,,,i used to cut too. but because of some promises i made to close friends i was forced to quit. and about slipped my wrists comment about the end of the poem...sometimes it is humorous why you cut into your skin you don't know you can find humor in it haha


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    March 21, 2007

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    The very first thing I noticed was the background and font. These both enhance one another as well as the content of the piece.

    I know it's bad, but I'm not so sure on the ending. I think it could be more painful, this just seems a little bit humorous.

    I agree with you on when it is a cut, you feel good about it. But as soon as it turns to a scar, regret sets in and tends to stay longer than an unwanted house guest.

    Good luck in the contest


  • x-x-x-x-x
    March 21, 2007

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    This is a great piece of writing, quite tasteful considering it deals with cutting. I won't say I know how you feel, because everyone experiences it differently, but I can certainly relate to the emotion behind this. I have struggled with cutting and other forms of self harm until just recently and it takes a lot of guts to be able to quit, even when you realise that maybe it's time to stop.

    "Regret now is starting to set in
    Causing me to hide the scars
    The ones that when they were only cuts
    I was so proud of"

    I can relate to this, having felt it myself, not so much pride, but relief, and of course the ultimate shame and guilt that comes from cutting ... and yet its never enough to make you stop.

    This is a great piece, good on you for writing about your struggle. I wish you all the best in dealing with it, and eventually stopping if that's ultimately what you want.

    Take care xx


  • Lactar Wolfgang
    March 20, 2007

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    A lose

    I am almost at a lose for words for this pains me to read. I have worked with sevral teenage cutters (being a former one myself) I understand the regret and the tempary Release of pain. I hope you will not cut any more so many bad things happen as if the scars are not bad enoughBut back to the poem. A great write and a overwhelming sense of saddness. It makes the reader feel exactly what you are driving at


  • shysky
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    As a recovering cutter I understand the level of emotion that goes into writing something like this. The hurt and emotional responses of cutting simply lead to a more dangerous way of thinking, at least it did for me. A Very fantastic read.

  • PalmettoSky
    March 20, 2007

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    Regret now is starting to set in

    Causing me to hide the scars

    The ones that when they were only cuts

    I was so proud of

    This is now led me to
    Wonder why I still choose to cut!


    although I have never been a cutter, I have chosen to deal with my pain in ways that were just as destructive. I wish you well. I hope that you get the help you deserve. you are worthy...peace and light, kp


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    March 20, 2007

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    I know so much how this feels I am in this place also. Everyday I have to remember a promise I made an adopted son of mine not to cut. Hang in there and give yourself a reason not to cut it does help at least a little bit against the fight of whether to cut or not to cut. Thank you for sharing this write with us it was very well written. Good imagery, good flow well done.


  • fireymoondancer
    March 20, 2007

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    applaud this

    I hope you are ok if this was about you, and there are people out there that love you and need you and I think we have to look deep within ourselves to find the goodness that people sometimes try to take away from us and make us think we are nothing ,but we all have worth to God, and in his eyes we are all (each and everyone) of us worth much in the world. we all can do something and all have talents given to use for good . bless you and stay safe and remember everyone has worth so I hope this was not you and just something you wrote about, but I know the pain people feel sometimes when put down, discarded like old shoes and no one hears us when we hurt. be blessed in Christ


  • Saxyncreative
    March 20, 2007

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    I wonder what drove this poor soul to pick up the blade of silver destruction, and turn it on herself.. I think that this poem is very well written, and I can feel the emotion.. but cutting is a very tragic thing. One should never have to harm themselves to be happy. I hope this poem is metaphorical, or if not, that you have someone to talk to about this. Great Write.


  • Poetdontknowit
    March 20, 2007

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    BRAVE

    A very touchy subject to pen about. I am not a cutter, but I do have my own ways of relieving emotional pain. I used to bite my nails down to nubs, and maybe that was possibly along the same lines, just not as intense. I really enjoyed reading and commenting on such a brave write as this.
    POETDONTKNOWIT


  • EmeraldDreams
    March 20, 2007

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    An interesting piece. I have to admit, I have never harmed myself, nor really understood why others would do.....this piece actually gave me more of an insight into it than any other I have read before. I can understand the need to feel control, when your life seems to be spiralling out of control, the one thing you can control is the cutting, it gives you a kind of feeling of empowerment....I tend to feel a bit lost and confused at times as well. This morning as I write this, my mother is in hospital, having an operation to remove a breast cancer. I would never dream of cutting myself over it, I choose to deal with it differently, but I can understand the need to feel in control of something when all around you seems to have gone mad. I wish you luck in the contest, and also in finding another way to cope, that doesnt hurt you so much. xx

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