You'd see her face and think she is happy.
You'd see her smile and know she is fine.
You'd hear her laugh and know she is joyful.
You'd feel her touch and know she is kind...
_-{(But)}-_
She looks at the world with cold empty eyes.
She knows theres no love to comfort her pain.
She thinks you dont care weather she lives or dies.
She's drowned in her sorrow and bleeds her distain...
And You'll never know why, she fell to the floor.
And She'll never know, that 'you' cared for her.
And You'd wonder at all the scars on her wrists.
And She'd always wished it would not come to this...
_-{(But)}-_
You saw her face, and you swore she was happy...
You saw her smile, and you 'knew' she was fine...
You heard her laugh, and it was sincere...
You felt her touch, and her kindness was there...
But her pain overcame, all sences of joy...
And you guess that she wasnt so fine after all...
And though there was never a doubt that she loved you...
Your blatent ignorance, forced her to fall...
But alas shes not dead, she's just whisked away...
The sirens of life, lit up the night...
And now that you know her story in full...
will you ignore it, or set it all right?
A contest entry
- Sadness, Pain, Hurt by -Tears Of Pain-.
800 points, ended April 6, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me how i can improve...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow
Wow, this is a great poem. -
Wow. I really like this, It was like I was reading a poem written for me and about me. This was great.
The rhyme the word choice, the flow. It all fit together like a puzzle. A perfect one at that. Good luck in the contest.
:]
~Sara~ -
I like the style of this, very much. It gave me a sense of this girl's unfinished struggle, and it adds to the subtle hopefullness that eases the dark tone of it. It's very honest, which was good, and spot on when it comes to such feelings of depression or the like. Overall, also, the description was great.
:]
alice
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wow! those are some verrry deep words.it really almost made me cry.
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Wow, it's like you took the words right out of my mouth. It sounds just like me. Great write!
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damn hun this is insanly brilliant. i love it awesome job,
jess
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