Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

If walls could talk

If walls could talk
They would tell me I was crazy
If walls could talk
They'd say I need to leave
To get the hell out
And mind my own peace
If walls could talk
They would say I was stupid for staying
Or just plain stupid for that matter
If walls could talk
They would spit in my face
Laugh and say "what are you going to do now bitch
You live in hell and you'll never get out
You'll never get out
if walls could talk
They'd say that i'm trapped
That I'll never get out
That no-one can save you
and then they will turn around and say
you'll never live and you'll never die
For there is no peace for you
and that freedom is now and for evermore a lie.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    November 9
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Um.. interesting?

    This message has been done before.

    Some of the lines seemed a bit unnecessary.

    I like the lines about the walls saying you're trapped though.

    Thanks for entering.

    - Blue- beauty


  • MJ Forgives
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow really great poem. I enjoyed reading that. I can really relate to that poem in a way. I hope you do well in my contest. You did a great job on this. Love and Peace!
    -Jess


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    This was very moving. I really enjoyed reading this. It was amazing. I am letting you go onto round 2. So thanks for entering and best of luck too you in Round 2.


  • Symphony
    April 15

    Edit | Reply
    Thank God walls can't talk.

    This sounds like a dire situation you've found yourself caught in - you wrote wonderfully however so perhsp that will uplift you just a little

    thanks for entering.


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    I will never let you die Sister
    please be passionate
    don't be upset

    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • sanguigno
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    very very true lol i love the way this is written and i like that you centered it it works well with it

    thanks for entering!!!!


  • lindaburns gold member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    You know, this isn’t half bad. I see you have entered it in many contests. I wonder if you are not winning because you are not reading the rules. In my contest, for example, the first rule is “write complete sentences with correct punctuation”. Since your poem read like one, long run-on sentence, it doesn’t qualify. If you want to enter something that does qualify, please do.


  • StarEyes
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Baby,

    If wall could talk, think of the stories they would tell on us all that would not be so fun.. I think if walls could talk, then there would be a lot more problems today, but then again, maybe there would be less pain...

    now, if those walls are talking like that to you, then they are dead wrong! You make what you want in life! no one else!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Mommy


  • swimmeroks
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. Its true that some phrases were a bit overused, but all- in- all a good write.


  • Systems Malfunction
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is okay. Lots of cliches which are overused in this poem. I liked the last line. Good luck in the contest!


  • SilentRose
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i like how you used a lot of repetition with 'if the walls could talk'...it was very effective..alos how you repeated a line: you'll never get out, you'll never get out... I think this is a nice freeverse poem and it flowed quite well. good work!! thank you for entering my contest!!


  • animated lies
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice personification of the walls. Yes indeed-- if walls could talk I'm sure they'd say many things. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • SilverRose2007
    April 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hey sister this was a great poem it made me laugh it made me cry but i understood every moment of it

    you are a great poet keep up the great work

    you shall stop at nothing to keep that pen flowing

    these are some mean walls they need smacked and that is just putting it lightly

    thanks for sharing and god bless you forever and always ashley


  • LoveLikePoetry
    April 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is really good. its not amazing, but its really good. the topic itself, is reelly good. and mainly how you use your words and the flow, is also good. but some parts dont really fit in. thanx for entering my contest and good luck


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great write! I really enjoyed reading this piece!! I wish walls could talk! that would be sooooooooooooooooooo awesome Id talk to my walls all day long I sometimes do anyway but this time they would answer back! anyway excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!!!!!!!



    -Steve-

  • RecollectionsUnited
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There was awful spelling, poor grammar, uncouth writing, and overall I loved it. I didn't really like the delivery, but at the same time the rough nature of them poem speaks to me. I loved it.


  • Lactar Wolfgang
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mean walls you have, I would bless the house, Great poem and imagrey. A nice write full of emotion and pain. Awesome job on this poem


  • PoEtS-bLeEd-InK
    April 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    whoa ... you have some mean walls ... paint them pink or something girl!! lol but for real, I liked this and I understood how you felt ... if walls could talk, mine would need am attiude adjustment before they utter a word... lol
    but anyways, I liked the poem, but there were some spelling errors, if you edit the poem you can spell check ... it will make it an easier read ...
    anyways, hope you smack your walls for me!! good luck in the contest!

    InKy


    • serenity silvermoon
      June 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      oh i have punch them a copple of times and put my head though them to i told them you said hi and they ran lol


  • Jeff.W
    March 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is full of emotion.you amaze me once again with your mighty talent in writing poetry. hope you do good in the contests


  • Sinned Alchemist
    March 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i like it and the title confused me at first


  • debilynn gold member
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a wonderful write with a lot of meaning. spell check is needed but the message is strong. keep writing and never give up hope! God bless you always


  • Quiet places
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Breathtaking!

    My little Granddaughter if they said that, they are dead wrong!!! You are the master of you own choices. To listen to them and remain confused or to Tell yourself that you life within a heart so true and a mind full of good thoughts that you can not be affected by ignorance and lies. You are a child of God and once in His hands you cannot be plucked out of His hand. If they got to you, possibly you were not a child of God. Think firmly on "Yes I am a child of God and He wants me to succeed in this life that He personally gifted to Me". He has plans for you my little buddy and I know they are going to be GREAT!!!!!!!! You will love the journey!! Your gabby old Grampa knows these things without a doubt!! You have a wonderful day, one day at a time looking forward to the future with excitement fo what the Lord has in store for you. Your true friend and buddy, Grampa Don PS: Great poem, just not what your future holds for you..


  • ForgottenMemories
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    such desperation and confusion in your write. if walls said such things as you have written in your poem I would kill the walls!! your poem shows sadness and fear, I think it's good because of how many emotions are in it because it has created a powerful write. you have talent good luck in the contests your in. xShadx


  • KissMeGoodnight
    March 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. good luck in contest

  • goalsv
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write! Great job of bringing out the feeling of desperation and confusion. Walls can't talk and that is good because I beleive they would cry more than anything from what all they see. Just remember where there are walls there is also a door!


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write! The sadness and fear shine through in the words. In reality, never allow any walll to build itself up around you.

1 - 27 of 27