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My Lake of Dreams

Missing image

Was very late this winter night,

Perhaps ‘twas early morn.

And I, the drama queen again,

Once more was sorrow bourne.

Rare sleep o’ertook me slowly there

Through eyes that would not close.

But fin’ly mind and body yield.

Asleep, I clasp a rose.


And in the muddled haze of sleep

A vision comes - a dream.

There on a gently rippled lake

I see the moonlight gleam.


Surreal it is, in black and white

And gentle shades of gray.

A giant maple tree is there,

Beneath its boughs I lay.


The circle crafted from small stones

Surrounds my shaded spot.

The pathway sub’tly beckons me.

To follow it - or not?


It leads to nowhere but the lake

That holds my tiny isle.

No boat to take me to the shore

So I’ll just rest awhile.


O moon that hovers o’er the land,

So faithful through the years,

Your mystic light is gently warm

And dries my sleeping tears.


As I now sleep, yet seem awake,

And peace arrests my soul,

The surcease of all pain and stress,

My waking life’s one goal.


So here beneath the nighttime sky,

My consolation's cast.

For when I waken in the morn,

The future hides the past.


E'en though I lay down late last night

'midst dreary thoughts and gloom,

The tiny rosebud that I hold,

Awakens in full bloom.

Author notes

Another painting from Reni to be written about. As long as she keeps painting, I'll keep trying to write. I think we're trying to challenge each other here.

Obviously written from the viewpoint of a young lady.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Ellis gold member
    December 6, 2007
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    darling ending - touching

    I just enjoy reading you very much. There isn't anything to criticize!


  • Dragon-Tearz13
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Very Real

    I felt like I was there, as the subject or as a watcher, and it was beautiful. You really have a way wtih words. I really like the last 4 lines..

    "E'en though I lay down late last night
    'midst dreary thoughts and gloom,
    The tiny rosebud that I hold,
    Awakens in full bloom"

    Those just sum up the entire poem quite nicely. I'm impressed by this poem.


  • catz Moderators member
    April 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. I felt as though I was that young girl beneath the tree, gazing across the water, sleepily contemplating the land beyond, the moon and stars.

    My favorite part...

    "For when I waken in the morn,
    The future hides the past."

    Brilliant lines.

    I love this one, Paul


    Dee


  • truembrace
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is such a lovely poem and it's so full classic tones with some of the old English truncated words "e'en"... that type of thing.

    I wish I were more a fan of rhyme - but I still recognize the artistic endeavor that is behind such pieces and know when they're written well and sound. Sometimes when reading such a strong piece, I do wish I wrote rhyme myself. I guess I'll leave it up to poets like yourself that ace it.


  • Lady Altheia
    April 5, 2007

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    Hoodwinked!

    This is fabulous. I really enjoyed the poem and the picture. It sounds like a wonderful place. The moon does make places more special.


  • mitchybaby
    April 1, 2007

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    Wow dad, beautifully done. You truly can write about pertty much anything. I wish I could look at a picture and write a poem/story about it. Maybe one day I'll be able too...at least my writers block is finally gone, lets hope I don't jinx it...heehee. Anyway this was a really wicked piece here dad. Your words always touch me and your poetry is so easy to read...flows right off of your toungue(sp) Love it, Love it, Love it!!! And I love you as well...heehee


  • Ishtar
    March 20, 2007

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    PAULOWNSYOUALL!

    Wow - I had to ask to actually understand who the persona of this poem was, which leads me to leave you a longer comment:

    Firstly: Sometimes I wonder how you never become, like, a therapist or something. You're quite good at reading a person. And that painting is a dream of some of the things that I love most: Peace, the moon, the path that I sometimes want to take to take me away from what I'm in, and nature.

    And your words are beautiful. I would definitely have been able to picture the image without having the visual aid there.

    As I said: Wonderful...!



    -Reni


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    absolutely beautiful

    E'en though I lay down late last night
    'midst dreary thoughts and gloom,
    The tiny rosebud that I hold,
    Awakens in full bloom.


    these thoughts are so beautiful. such a dream is one i have yet, i have not seen its fruitation. i believe i will because i will. thank you for sharing this beautiful elegance with me. viyanna rosemarie


  • Child of an Angel
    March 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmm

    Grandpa this was a beautiful write. Flowed well with an air of..ugh. I cant think of the word right now lol. You know what I mean though lol. It was a great branch of wording and perfect touch of rhyme. I loved it. And this picture was absolutely beautiful. You did a great job depicting it. Thank you for the chance to read it and as always Keep the pen flowing.

     

    Always

    Emily 


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 19, 2007

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    I am very happy I read this fantastic write!! Its old english tone is awesome and the flow perfect. You have a true work of art here.


  • NickBlaze
    March 19, 2007

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    Good wording and relatively good use of old english contractions. The rhyme scheme is good, though the wording is simple. It flowed well and the storyline itself was good. Good work.


  • Ishtar
    March 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful, as usual.


  • duke of balabamas
    March 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    most impressive, and a great picture choice as well. the flow perfectly complimented the subject of the matter. you words really have a way of lighting up and setting me down inside the scene you set. im quickly becoming a fan of yours.

1 - 13 of 13