winter resided in her
empire of ice
her beauty was false
and easily decayed
as she driped her
friged darkness
through out the world
but then spring came
spring let his nimble fingers
trace over all the outlines
of the sun's rays
let the warmth fall into
the frozen ground
let the golden light
pierce the permafrost
deep
he made the
true beauty burst
into vibrant life
as he partook in the mystery
of thawing the flowers
as winter flees on melting legs
Author notes
i actully kind of like this one. i usually don't write hopeful nature type stuff...but i thought i'd give it a shot.
A contest entry
- In Honor of Spring [CONTEST] by Touchof1der.
600 points, ended March 29, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
And give it a shot you did!
A very good one at that. I did notice a few spelling errors that you may wish to go in and edit when you find the time.
In line five... [driped] should be spelled DRIPPED.
In line six... [friged] should be spelled FRIGID.
In line seven... [though out] should be all one word.
Having pointed those out for you, let me reiterate what a wonderful job you have done here. Thank you for taking the time and effort to enter my contest. Good luck!


♥ Touchof1der -
I Like your description of the transition. My favourite lines are:
spring let his nimble fingers
trace over all the outlines
of the sun's rays
Good luck in the contest
-
I like it. Hopeful nature stuff is pretty cool.


