winner:
outer or inner
saint or sinner
sitter or spinner
fatter or thinner
expert
beginner
myra
2007/76
Author notes
Winner redefined: winning means to be able to begin anew.
A contest entry
- Quickie by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended April 6, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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*sigh* I'm sorry but I saw nothing out of this poem. The rhyming was so forced and there really was no depth or ambiguity in this poem. It just didn't work out. Sorry. Thank you for entering.
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*grin* You make me think of my friend Leo2' ...
"sometimes the magic works, sometimes it doesn't"
But seeing that this is the second negative critique in five years, on more than a thousand poems, it is permissable, not so? Perhaps you'll like some of my other poemies ...
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wow this is qutie good and i see you rhymed it to so little lines but so perfectly put hun loved this write alot
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Ah Rolande saw the laddeer and learnt the lesson: one can but climb untill the end. To stop means to go down.
Mayhaps the first line with winner alone: forces the reader to focus.
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Ag maar Nefie -- moet nou nie so wesie ... moet ek dan nou raai wat jy hier so in Ingels seg? Siet jy dan nou nie al daai stukkende sporte op daai leertjie wat anner ous al getrap het nie? Nee man -- moenie die poempie vlak kykie. Klim dan nou van daai oewer en swem innie stroompie!

Hoe gaattit met die oukêrel?
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inner or outer
smiley or pouter
quite or louder
of him or 'bout her
Princess or louter
In my estimation you have a winner here.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
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Knight oh Knight ...
... is there any way I can be a loser in your eyes?
Your poemy is a good second verse to mine. But I think you meant: quiet or louder ...
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Your contagious
These smiles werent thought of and now I have them. Thanks. Its nice there are such wellsprings to find in the droughts I endure. I have to force myself to saying anything because I find you keep leaving me at a loss for words.

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You have such a way of saying things ... I am sure English is not your mother-tongue: you are too creative in your expressions!
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Wait ...
until I released you from your tree ...
What will it be? Wait and see ...
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