Cold digits
Wrapped tight around a father's finger,
Trembling,
Yellowed nails,
She had no place here yet.
Beautiful black eyes,
Blue to the world,
Empty,
Though I know she knew me once,
As she kicked against my hand,
Thrashing out for love,
Reaching out for
Comfort.
Hours, only hours,
Since the needle pricked her finger,
Woke her up and sent the Spinner's hand
To cut it short;
Cut short,
While the afterbirth still clung beneath
Those yellow nails.
Forgive them,
Though I never could;
Your thread was cut too soon.
Hours, arms will wait for hours,
Three, three hours to be held,
As a mother thrashes out for,
Reaches out for...
Her.
Three to feel the warmth of hot tears
Spilling down like hot kisses upon cold digits,
Although,
They come too late...
Her thread was cut too soon.
Cold digits
Framed in bronze, left next to
Booties never worn;
Treasures,
Left to haunt,
To bring hot tears, and
Though I know she knew me once,
I pray, she finds her place
And knows me once again in
The end
Faith.
Author notes
I spent six weeks in the Ronald Mcdonald House of Southern New Jersey, while undergoing treatment at The Children's Hospital of Philedelphia...my experieces there were life changing. This is merely one aspect of one of them, though I can't read it out loud for tears.
If everyone would observe a moment of silence for Kayezlee Jean Faith Cole. Born the night of September 11, 2006, passed away The morning of September 12, 2006. Although she barely had a chance to live, she touched our hearts and reminded us that Faith can come in all shapes and sizes. Remembered always in our Hearts and Dreams, Kayzelee, we miss you.
(For anyone wondering, Kayezlee was the daughter of Tyler and Jessie Cole, part of my Ronald Mcdonald House Family! Throughout all our trials at the hospital, we were a system of strength and support for each other. Kayezlee was born with a tumor off her tailbone that was bigger then she was. Although she survived the surgery to remove the teratoma, her little heart just didnt have enough blood left to pump, and she bled to death shortly after arriving on this earth. Please keep both her and her parents in your thoguhts and prayers!)
So maybe now you can understand
We were tied in some way I can't explain
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
It hurts to share this, but I think I need to do it.
PLEASE tell me what you think from a professional, literature-type sense as well, ok?
Thanks again!
S2
Era
A contest entry
- Lots of Stuff, check it out by phantomfaith.
300 points, ended March 22, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Babies! by JustSimplyLissa.
600 points, ended April 4, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tales from my stay in life...
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
It isn't difficult to feel the emotions in this poem, to understand at least a little how they must have felt (and feel). I can tell this came wholy from the heart.
-
Loss is such a pervasive element in poetry that one is compelled to read many such works in the process of adjudicating most contests, and the Raven has certainly been no exception. The difference between the work you have written here and others of the same lineage is that yours manages to convey the sense of loss so that your audience can feel it as well. This is the definition of success in this regard - which is to say that works falling short are not for mass consumption.
Your piece accomplishes this partly due to the author's notes that allow readers to revisit the piece with a greater understanding of the language and intent there of. Despite that, one question remains. Firstly, the reference in line 16 to "the Spinner" is a bit cryptic. What am I missing here?
I will conclude by offering that the most powerful part of the piece (and it is no small undertaking to determine that), the "treasures left to haunt," comes wonderfully at the end of the poem and provides a completness to the picture, important no matter how dour the outlook.
Certainly your experiences seem to have crafted within you both an empathy and an ability to express it.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
Elegantly crafted write for such a precious moment. I'm sorry for your loss and her parents loss. This is really a heart rendering write. So sad and ponent. Well done! Thank you for entering and good luck!
-
-
Thank you. I have never had a harder time trying to write a poem- As it is it took me nearly seven months to even form soherent thoughts on the matter!
S2
Era
-
-
ohhh, woooooow, i really liked this one, it's so deep & full of emotion, great write!! Good luck in the contest!!
--gooshawn
-
This is really deep...that was my first impression and it got deeper as it ended...i guess your experience brought out a lot...this was full of emotion, it flowed nicely and i thought a center alignment would have given it that extra beautiful touch...good imagery...great stuff!!
-
these are always poems that are so powerful, very nice write... good luck in your contest and good luck in your future writes
-
beautiful
nice job but i can do better -
-
Im sorry, but what kind of a comment is "nice job but i can do better?"
I dont know how to respond to that...its a bit rude...
S2
The Queen
-
-
Speaking in a professional, literature type sense, the poem was amazing. The brevity and precision of the lines have a powerful impact. The personification of many objects and imagery does wonders.
From my personal veiw, this is a touching poem. I will be praying for everyone over there.
~Sam -
Thank you so much for this extremely powerful write. I am so sorry for all of the losses you and yours have suffered. I hope that you can keep writing of all the lessons you have learned thus far. I feel that you have much to teach, and much to say.
--Nanners
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
