I wanted you to be the glorious sun
So that I, selfish, could taste sunshine
Lavishly gulp warmth as I’d swallow gold
Until I glowed from within
And bursting into bloom
An ecosystem of colors, of life
Of an unimaginable fantasy
Hidden from you
And it will be my mountains of treasure
But soon, sufficient with sun
My precious secret may wither
And I’ll become spots of gold
My veins will grow thicker and spread like channels
And I will throw up the ocean
Like sweat, glitter will trickle down my face
Dropping as islands
And I’ll grow faint
But specks of sunlight may rest lovely on my lips
And I’ll bask in splendor
Though drained but content
Of the name you gave it
Earth.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I absolutely love this poem. I can't even explain why, I just felt something while I was reading it. I love it. And I will say it one more time.... I love it.
-
Pretty. ^_^
I like the mental image.. very bright. I think my favorite line is "But specks of sunlight may rest lovely on my lips." -
this is the best poem I have read in about a month..maybe even longer
"And I’ll become spots of gold
My veins will grow thicker and spread like channels
And I will throw up the ocean
Like sweat, glitter will trickle down my face
Dropping as islands"
throwing up the ocean
I cant begin to put into words how powerful and beautiful that was...your veins will grow thicker and spread like channels..my god..my god
and then
"And I’ll grow faint
But specks of sunlight may rest lovely on my lips"
it puts such great imagery into my head
you are an amazing writer...it has been so long since I've read anything by you
Im sooo pleased right now
-
this poem has great imagery in it. i like when you wrote the line about swallowing gold. i also like the line, "and I'll bask in splendor" you use some great vocabulary skills. thanks for sharing it, great job. tim aka childofthenight
-
AMAZING!
this is an amaxing poem! u have a gift with words! -
woooow
very beautiful, very powerful.
-
A lot of wonderful imagery in this piece. I agree totally with fruityloop's comment. It is a good use of metaphor whilst being easy to understand and relate to. Well done, keep it up. Claire
-
Two Thumbs Up!
wow, what a beautiful poem. By the end I found the sun to represent either God, or literally mean that the sun is Earths God, being that without it there would be no life here. Perhaps it is both. Splendid. Enjoyed this piece!
Creatress
-
very interesting imagery. i loved the pacing of the poem. the last stanza was my favorite, very striking.
-
Very wonderful imagery spawning into a wonderful piece of poetry. To me it conveys feelings of love and admiration for all aspects of life.
-
Beautiful poem! As I read this, I thought of the theme being more like a metaphor for a love relationship than the literal making of planet Earth...very creative, thoughtful poem!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
