Living In Denial

You >>s/l/a/p/p/e/d me in the |f|a|c|e|
with those ~w.o.r.d.s. of yours, darling
I can \f\e\e\l\ the ^f~i~r~e^ in my +[skin]+
You may as well have -(punched)- me

It wasn't all a .l.i.e.;; >>don't get me ((wrong))
I {+{know}+} I wasn't r-i-g-h-t, but that doesn't mean
you need to |p|r|y| into my .l.i.f.e. like an
[-[-[over-protective]-]-] >>spouse<< would

Weren't you supposed to be my ♥~{lover}~♥;;
not my [[>>father.+.mother.+.sister.+.or.+.brother<<]]?

Oh, look what you've done now
My mind is s c r e a m i n g [out..+..loud]
for this blurry.~.eyed, {melo~dramatic}
w e e p i n g |-|scene|-| to >>fade.. from my {memory..}

What? Do I $_owe_$ you something still?
Didn't I give you my ♥, my _b_o_d_y_,
&& oh, not to mention my {~soul~}?
[[Is.that.not.enough.for.you]], *~s.u.g.a.r~*?

I'm sorry that I couldn't b e a r to tell you
all these .d.i.r.t.y..l.i.t.t.l.e..t.h.i.n.g.s. that happen to me
It's not like I a s k e d for this, you know
But isn't every girl +[-[entitled]-]+ to a couple of s-e-c-r-e-t-s?

It just goes to s h o w that every +.b.o.y.+
can't h e l p but >>ask questions, right?
[[.O|k|a|y.f|i|n|e.]];; you want the truth?
How about we ..start.. from the >>beginning...

My father a_b_a_n_d_o_n_e_d my mother before I was +_born_+,
&& she decided to go into the ♥{{..drug-..&&..-..alcohol..-..addiction..}}♥
So I .l.i.v.e.d. my life on the >>edge.. of _survival_,
just picking t h r o u g h the [[.garbage.]] of what was given..

My mother met a ..g.u.y.. somewhere along the way,
&& let me just say... [[he.-.isn't.-.that.-.great]]
Among the /v/i/o/l/e/n/t/ ^+[outbursts]+^ and the .u.s_e.d. needles
&& condoms on the floor, {{now-♥-I'm-♥-this-♥-bastard's-♥-whore}}

Yes, I t o l d you I was .r_a-p-e_d. before, didn't I?
At the {_t_e_n_d_e_r_} age of fourteen, right?
Baby, that's not where it all began, [[I.♥.promise.♥.you]]
I think it .s.t.a.r.t.e.d. at the age of eight

Mind you, it wasn't s e x back then, but it was ((close))
I knew how to ~♥~please~♥~ a man b.e.t.t.e.r than most
So then when I finally was .r_a-p-e_d. when I told you,
I was just his ~m~a~i~n~s~t~r~e~a~m~ o.u-t.l-e.t for >>frustration<<

&& you wonder why I (.(keep).) all this .s.h.i.t. to myself
Who would do anything more than give >>p.i.t.y<< to me?
I don't need >>p.i.t.y<<, I don't need to be >>j.u.d.g.e.d<<,
so [[_please_]] tell me if I'm getting a little +[extreme]+

It isn't so .p.r.e.t.t.y. anymore, is it?
I'm not the little \h\o\t\t\i\e\ that was _u_n_t_o_u_c_h_a_b_l_e_
Sorry to burst your bubble, ♥~{lover}~♥, [[but.you.had.to.ask]]
&& I'm {{f.u.c.k.i.n.g}} _t_i_r_e_d_ of the constant -b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t- I get

So, thank you .s.o-.-m.u.c.h. for all the ♥, darling♥,
but I think it's time to say |g\o\o\d/b/y/e| now
It's not that I don't ♥ you, s~w~e~e~t~i~e...
but now that I've finally admitted all this to myself...

{♥{..I..just..can't..live..with..it..anymore..}♥}

Translation:

You slapped me in the face
with those words of yours, darling
I can feel the fire in my skin
You may as well have punched me

It wasn't all a lie; don't get me wrong
I know I wasn't right, but that doesn't mean
you need to pry into my life like an
over-protective father would

Weren't you supposed to be my lover;
not my father, mother, sister, or brother?

Oh, look what you've done now
My mind is screaming out loud
for this blurry-eyed, melodramatic
weeping scene to fade from my memory

What? Do I owe you something still?
Didn't I give you my heart, my body,
and, oh, not to mention my soul
Is that not enough for you, sugar?

I'm sorry that I couldn't bear to tell you
all these dirty little things that happen to me
It's not like I asked for this, you know
But isn't every girl entitled to a couple of secrets?

It just goes to show that every boy
can't help but ask questions, right?
Okay, fine; you want the truth?
How about we start from the beginning...

My father abandoned my mother before I was born,
and she decided to go into the drug and alcohol addiction
So I lived my life on the edge of survival,
just picking through the garbage of what was given

My mother met a guy somewhere along the way,
and let me just say...he isn't that great
Among the violent outbursts and the used needles
and condoms on the floor, now I'm this bastard's whore

Yes, I told you I was raped before, didn't I?
At the tender age of fourteen, right?
Baby, that's not where it all began, I promise you
I think it started at the age of eight

Mind you, it wasn't sex back then, but it was close
I knew how to please a man more than most
So then when I finally was raped when I told you,
I was just his mainstream outlet for frustration

And you wonder why I keep all this shit to myself
Who would do anything more than give pity to me?
I don't need pity, I don't need to be judged,
so please tell me if I'm getting a little extreme

It isn't so pretty anymore, is it?
I'm not the little hottie that was untouchable
Sorry to burst your bubble, lover, but you had to ask
and I'm fucking tired of the constant bullshit I get

So, thank you so much for all the love, darling,
but I think it's time to say goodbye now
It's not that I don't love you, sweetie...
but now that I've finally admitted all this to myself...

I just can't live with it anymore