Jets flying faster
Everywhere date lines recede
Time flowing forward and back
Lines artificial
Arranged to suit man's needs
Grappling with a turning world
Author notes
The form is an Acrostic Sedokas
jets/fly/ing/fast/er 5
ever/ry/where/date/lines/re/cede 7
time/flows/for/ward/and/back 7
lines/ar/ti/fi/cial 5
ar/rang/ed/to/suit/man's/needs 7
grap/pling/with/a/turn/ing/word 7
In a list
A contest entry
- Acrostic Sedokas {edit} by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended March 31, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Really great message you have presented, and you got the forms down key. Thanks for taking my challenge.
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SPECTACULAR!!!
WOW!! this is so very AWESOME short and sweet but
a really big message! I love every single line in
this SPECTACULAR piece of writting!! Thank You
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Merry meet Kathy,
Thank you very much for your applause and for taking the time to read and comment on my work. I appreciate the effort.
Amythest
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i thought this was short and sweet. you nailed the rule for this type of poem. I think you did a very good job. thanks for sharing it. keep up the great work...peace and light always in all ways, kendal palmer...
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Merry meet Kendal,
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment on my work. I appreciate the words of encouragement. Thank you.
Amythest
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Nice
Now this took some serious thinking! You did nice work, an acrostic I am familiar with, the acrostic sedokas I am not. I will have to see if other than syllables, there was a theme of any kind that had to be in them. You seemed to write it with time flowing in each line, so It seems something is thematic here. Nice work, keep it up, certainly enjoyable to read. 'k -
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Merry meet Live4me,
Thank you for your time in reading and commenting on my poetry. It did take me some serious thinking. It looks so simple to do, but I burned up quite a few brain cells in doing it.
Amythest
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Nice write very well done. I really enjoyed it and it had really good flow and rythm to it Thank you for sharing.
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Interesting approach for your acrostic sedoka, I enjoyed it and the background scheme that fits with the title =-P
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Heh, this is very very cute, I love how you did this, To me, trying to write something like this would make my head explode, I am starting to see a lot of acrostic poems, I can't do them, I think it is the same mental block as I have with Iambic pentametre thoughmore that I don't want too, I don't know at any rate, Kudos for a great write!
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I like this. The way that you convey this time and emotion, really makes a huge difference in what it says and how it reads. Thanks for sharing!!!!
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i love this acrostic! i have not done one in a long time. you have inspired me! :-)
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Merry meet frajilharte,
Thank you very much for your applause. I don't normally do acrostics but it was a requirment for this contest. I was going to go with toe jam but couldn't come up with anything to match. Thank you for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate that.
Amythest
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I have come to like these sorts of poems. They are very interesting. You've definetely captured what I thought something like this should have read
Wonderful!
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Merry meet witch,
Thank you for your wonderful compliments. I don't normally do acrostics, my forte seems to be free verse. It's good to stretch the poetic muse every now and then. Thank you for the time you took to comment on my poetry.
Amythest
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Great use of form to express a lucid and fluid idea. This should do well in the contest, I think. Actually, you reminded me... lol.. I have to make my entry into this contest... except that I don't think I can write anything this good... I really don't enjoy the form.
Good luck in your future endevors!
~Das -
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Merry meet Das,
Thank you for your compliments. Don't feel too bad, I've bee pulling out my hair over this form since she posted the contest. I was going to do toe jam, but I couldn't think of anything that would work with the syllable limits.
Good luck in the contest.
Amythest
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Quite interesting. I have never tried this style before. As a personal thing, I think in the first stanza "flying" would work better than "flowing," seeing as that's how I read it in my mind anyway but it works either way. Very nice write and a style I shall have to try sometime. Quite remnisicient of a haiku. Thanks for sharing.
-mandy -
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Merry meet Mandy,
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I had never heard of this form until this contest. I was pulling my hair out trying to write this.
I used flow because I was thinking of the jet stream and how it flows over the earth. A bit esoteric I know. Thank you again, I appreciate your effort.
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