Wearing My Shoes

My life is the worst,
my life is far from the best,
Here si why i hurt...
Nine years old and life became a task.
Mom put more pressure upon me,
Hoping she wouldn't see me behind a mask.
I tried alot of things to hide from her.
We didn't get along as it was,
Then it began to hurt.
She gave me up for that reason of unworthiness.
13 years old and my mom doesn't want me.
I feel gross, almost like a filthyness.
Parents are now breaking up.
Dad is getting really mean,
mom raves about having "enough".
14 years old now and I have a hangover.
I am so very sick and soar.
don't even know if I am yet si\ober.
I am falling in love with one of my best friends.
15 and I want tobe his wife,
His life came toan end.
I hated myself,I wanted to die.
Suicide sounded so sweet to me.
I will be honest I did try.
But then it came to that substance,
I had no pain or tears.
I felt like an angel for instance.
I am good now,
I am sober and clean.
But thats what its like walking my shoes.